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Brightly Colored Soccer Cleats are Gay, Says Russian Priest

Jesus, by contrast, was a sandals man

Clive Brunskill/Getty Images Sport

World Cup fever is gripping everyone, including Father Alexander Shumsky, a priest of the Russian Orthodox Church.

In his column on the website Russian Line (tagline: "Orthodoxy, Autocracy, Nationality"), Father Alexander discusses how soccer has changed—for the worse. "The game has become very diagrammatic, mathematically verified," he writes. "Now, everything is counted: how far a player's run, how many technical-tactical actions he's committed, and so on and so forth." It's become less creative, it's become more Mammonocentric. 

It's an old argument, but then Father Alexander takes his critique far into the realm of original thought. 

It's also worth noting the equipment of the players, who are playing in pink, light blue, yellow, and green cleats. All these colors, as is widely known, are parts of the so-called pederast rainbow. And there is not a single player in black cleats, which is the only kind of cleats in which a real man should play...Putting pink or light blue cleats on a man is like dressing him in a woman's underwear or brassiere. 

He goes on. 

Liberastic ideologues clearly want to contrapose soccer to Christianity. I'm certain of this. Which is why I am glad that Russia's team failed and, by God's mercy, are no longer participating in this homosexual disgrace—and during a Church fast to boot.

Pretty sure Jesus would agree. He was more a sandals man anyway.