POLITICS NOVEMBER 24, 2011
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Politics is a serious business. Despite the best efforts of some, it’s not a form of reality television. Instead, it’s the way that we distribute the costs and benefits of our collective life; it’s an opportunity to express and fight for our deepest values in the view of our fellow-citizens; and it’s … uh … what was that third thing? Oops.
I’m sorry; I know that particular joke has long since passed its sell-by date. But my excuse is that, for better or worse, a lot of us, no matter how seriously we take politics, are also completely guilty of being fascinated and amused by the events and personalities, the candidates and the spinmeisters, the pundits and the network anchors and correspondents. Face it: We’re politics fans, the way some people are sports fans or movie buffs or weather fans (yes, they exist). And thus nothing thrills us quite as much as a presidential candidate turning into a punch line, live and direct, in front of our eyes.
We all know, too, that this has been a great year for our chosen sport. So, with one last caveat that, of course, there are terribly important things at stake and we shouldn’t really just sit back as passive spectators, here’s the list of what political junkies should be thankful for:
Vice Presidents. All of them. Well, okay, you need to find the necessary distance to appreciate the megalomaniacal, ultra-secretive, and Clouseau-like incompetence of Dick Cheney, given the very real damage it caused. But most of them are harmless enough, all of them are instantly diminished by the office, and quite a few have fulfilled their mandate for outwardly appearing as pathetic as possible. Joe Biden? A wonderful, malapropping, example. I mean, really: How could Joe Biden not be Vice President?
Debates, YouTube, and Twitter, a perfect combination. After all, not even the most die-hard of political junkies is going to sit through every moment of every debate, but now every gaffe and attack and goofy moment is easily archived and accessed. And when we do sit through them, we now get to do it the Mystery Science Theater 3000 way, with a Dave Weigel or an Ed Kilgore as our own Tom Servo and Crooooow.
C-SPAN!
The seven foot tall doctor who tells Michele Bachmann crazy things about Obamacare.
Feuds. Nothing like a good political feud. My recent favorite? Barney Frank, unloading on Newt Gingrich: “Frankly, I thought the ‘Gingrich Group’ were his wives.”
Landslides, because they produce those wonderful gifts to Washington culture: the horribly miscast Member of Congress. Think Eric Massa, Chris Lee, or (going way back to 1995) Enid Greene Waldholtz.
C-SPAN-2!!
Chain emails, and the members of congress and other politicians who repeat as major insights the loony things they learn from them.
Debates over which state is more corrupt. Get three political junkies in a room, and you’re sure to get to this terrific argument. Rhode Island? Illinois? Louisiana? As a native Arizonan, I’m always game to make the case for the Grand Canyon State, although I realize that Evan Meacham and Fife Symington don’t quite clinch it for us.
CNN’s “holo-interview,” and the possibility that the network will bring it back on election night 2012.
Polls. Oh, how we love polls. I spend a great deal of time telling people why they should ignore head-to-head presidential polls this far out, why early nomination polling is close to meaningless, why a lot of issues polling is also close to meaningless, and why one who wants to understand politics should pay a whole lot less attention to polls. What I do less of is mention that I go to Gallup every day for their presidential approval track … and their economic indicators track. I go to Pollster. I go to Polling Report. Meaningless? Sure. But I can’t kick the habit.
Online archives of cool old political stuff. UVA’s Miller Center. UCSB’s American Presidency Project. And, once again: C-SPAN!!!
The amazing, awesome, never-slowing presidential campaign of Prince Herman Cain. Not even the entirely non-humorous sexual harassment and sexual assault allegations levied against him could take away the junkie fun of the candidate who couldn’t remember his talking points on Libya, who ridiculed his own ignorance of the world in the classic Ubeki-beki-beki-bekistan bit, who accidentally gave a classic, ringing, defense of choice on the issue of abortion, who was intimidated by the infamous Iranian mountains … the list goes on and on.
The possibility that CNN will try to top the holo-interview on election night 2012.
Jim Traficant: the one and only, the great, the never-forgotten. Beam me up!
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.
Jonathan Bernstein blogs at A Plain Blog About Politics.
6 comments
Jim Traficant is a helluva character. I am grateful for the archives of his ridiculousness. Mr. Bernstein's optimism is appreciated. Good list, thank you, happy holidays, etc., but. . . Sigh. A lot of the things catalogued at this website as entertainments for which to be grateful are, unfortunately, very bad for our country. I literally lose sleep over the notion that foreign leaders and citizens hear some of the gibberish & warmongering from certain prominent American politicians & would-be politicians. Youtube/Twitter/comments is a nice vent, but these things are not helping us achieve positive results in elections, so the bums remain in office and constantly in the news cycle. It goes beyond feuding. If a Democrat had said some of things uttered at the most recent Republican presidential debate, there'd be epilectic orgasm & outrage across the Murdochverse. When a prominent candidate gets the microphone and promotes the effectiveness of torture, openly supporting its use by American service members, it makes it more likely that more Americans will be killed by enemies. And by "enemies," I mean people who otherwise would have no interest in the business of fighting in a war zone, but who become inspired by American arrogance & evil to fight us, who catch a glimpse of CNN International and see another Texan outlining a fresh deployment of deadly boys & toys to their neighborhood. How can I be grateful for 24 hour news networks when the majority of those hours are spent covering our most disgraceful public figures? It's not in the Thanksgiving spirit. Sorry. I can't reconcile my outrage with anyone's optimism. I can't forgive our news media for their complicit stupidity. I can forgive Herman Cain for embarrassing himself. I can forgive him & the voters who puff up his poll numbers for embarrassing my country. But I can't forgive Herman Cain and his Republican colleagues for promoting torture, cluelessly spreading ignorance on foreign policy, and thereby making it more likely that my subordinates will have a newly motivated batch of enemies to fight. I voted for Biden for Prez, though, so I'm half grateful for what he's been doing.
- Konstantin
November 24, 2011 at 1:11am
#16: ABC news for trying to remember journalism; the last bastion where "cheap shots" are ignored? "Rick Perry Releases Thanksgiving Video" By Arlette Saenz "Rick Perry released a web video today thanking U.S. troops for their service and wishing the country a “Happy Thanksgiving.” Called “Securing the American Dream (Marcus’ Story), ” the video features Marcus Luttrell, an East Texas Navy SEAL who fought in Iraq and Afghanistan, recounting his experience in the military [K2K clarifies: the day Marcus was the sole survivor of a mission in Afghanistan where NINETEEN of his Navy SEAL brothers died]. The nearly three-minute video then transitions to patriotic images, footage of Perry at events and audio of a speech in which Perry talks about the strength and promise of the military. http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=fyXabSNXL4Y# Text appears across the screen reading “Our mission is clear…our message is simple…to secure the future of the American dream…As Americans we have a lot to be thankful for, especially for our brave military men and women” before ending with “Happy Thanksgiving.” Perry, who served in the U.S. Air Force for five years, shares a close relationship with Luttrell. In the video, Luttrell details their connection, saying he calls the Texas governor “for fatherly advice” and explains why he supports him as he runs for president. “He’s one of the most honorable men I’ve ever met. You know, I don’t get into politics, you know. I’m a soldier. So with that being said, though, as far as character and honor and commitment and all those words that most people use for a punch line, he lives that stuff,” Luttrell says in the video. “It’s those characteristics in a man and especially in him that I think embody what the president of the United States should be.” In an interview with Parade magazine last month, Perry described the family meeting he held before deciding to run for president. Luttrell and his wife were participants in the discussions, along with Perry’s wife, Anita, son Griffin and daughter Sydney. “Seven of us sat down, and we had a conversation. Everybody gets a black bean. If there’s even one black bean, then the deal’s off,” Perry described in Parade magazine. “Marcus was very hesitant. He’s very protective of my wife. He really didn’t want to see the family go through what you go through in one of these efforts.” In 2010, Luttrell started the Lone Survivor Foundation, a nonprofit group committed to helping wounded warriors and their families as they return from their service abroad. Perry spoke at the foundation’s second annual gala in September and discussed the need to commit resources to soldiers as they transition from their service on the battlefield to lives back home. “Just as we owe them our very best when we send them to war we owe them our very best when they come home. For those returning home bearing scars some physical, others hidden we must devote whatever resources are necessary to help them heal and live fulfilling lives,” Perry said in the speech. “For all of them, we owe them our best efforts to help them find work connecting them with employers in need of their enhanced skills and exceptional leadership. These are our precious sons and daughters. They are our own flesh and blood. We must take care of them, every last one of them.” " http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/politics/2011/11/rick-perry-releases-thanksgiving-video/Nov 23, 2011 12:16pm
- K2K
November 24, 2011 at 11:00am
#16: http://caucuses.desmoinesregister.com/2011/11/23/a-mitt-romney-thanksgiving-menu/ Ouch - courtesy of the Democratic Party :) #17: following the Paulista online cyber-war. Hunstman daughters deploy counter-Paulista tactics. #18 waiting for the scoop that Mitt Romney secretly bought the Washington Post. I was a lot happier when I watched the Weather Channel. Now I rely on NOAA for my detailed seven-day forecasts for my zip code. Governor Perry's detailed plan for shutting down DoEd, DoCom, and DoEnergy stipulates that NOAA would be pared down and moved to DoInterior. I loudly objected to the "pared down" part because NOAA is the ONE Federal Agency that is very consequential to my life, although I missed the warning that I would awake yesterday to three inches of accumulated snow and sleet. Mr. Bernstein, cheap shot even with your tongue-in-cheek apology. All of us who saw Rick Perry's "sorry - oops" knew it was because any mortal would have frozen to stone at the sight of Ron Paul's face turning into a gargoyle, with palms-out Five-Fingered-Hand. Last night, The Daily Show repeated Jon Stewart's satire on Mr. Cain's Libya "twirling in my head" five minutes. THAT will live on for decades, Happy Thanksgiving to all!
- K2K
November 24, 2011 at 11:02am
Cheney didn't kill his hunting companion, unlike Burr, who killed the fornicator Hamilton, most likely with the tacit approval, if not direct orders, of the Francophile president; and for good measure, later led an insurrection to overthrow the government. Cheney's a mere draft dodger and chicken hawk; Burr is the real McCoy.
- rayward
November 24, 2011 at 11:59am
Should we be thankful for Joe Walsh?
- timteeter
November 25, 2011 at 11:51am
“Frankly, I thought the ‘Gingrich Group’ were his wives.” Barney Frank is one of the funniest guys on TV. I love to watch interviews with him. I wonder if he writes his own jokes.
- magboy47.
November 25, 2011 at 2:19pm