EURO2012 JUNE 20, 2012
-
Read Later
READ LATERAvailable only to subscribers. SUBSCRIBE TODAY
-
Listen
ARTICLE AUDIO
- Font Size
“No one believed in us at the start,” Steven Gerrard said morosely after England beat Ukraine 1-0. Since he mentions it, some of us still don’t believe that England will win this tournament, or that they deserve to, although we’ve already seen that virtue and quality are not always rewarded. “The good ended happily, and the bad unhappily,” says Miss Prism in The Importance of Being Earnest, speaking of her own unpublished novel. “That is what Fiction means.” But that is not always what soccer means.
No neutral—or even honest Englishman—could have watched that game without cheering the plucky Little Russians (I’m trying to revive the traditional Russian name for Ukraine, as in Tchaikovsky’s “Little Russian” Symphony, though it doesn’t seem to be catching on in Donetsk). Wayne Rooney returned from a well-merited suspension to miss one easy goal and then head, or nod, another in when the Ukrainian goalkeeper fumbled the ball. But really, Rooney is so profoundly obnoxious as a person that he has to play better than that to be tolerated.
Otherwise England were clearly outplayed for most of the match, and Ukraine suffered another should-have-been goal which the clownish officials failed to see as it crossed the line. As Gerrard so truly said, “you need a bit of luck along the way.” England have got this far more by luck than skill, and they can’t ride their luck much longer.
What of the other final group games? After my brutal strictures, Cristiano Ronaldo actually managed to score at last for Portugal, indeed two goals, neither difficult. Perhaps he reads “The Goal.” Portugal should now beat the Czechs, although there have been plenty of surprises already. No surprise at the collapse of Ireland. For some reason their fans, scores of thousands of them, have been praised for their fortitude and good cheer, as they chant that lugubrious dirge “The Fields of Athenry” while wearing ridiculous huge green hats. I’d have thought that the Baltic coast was a long way to go just to look like what a Dubliner would call a complete ejit.
At any rate, Ireland were easy target practice for Spain, who seem to be in more of a groove as they face France on Sunday. Nor should Germany have much trouble against Greece, a game whose political-economic overtones at present don’t need spelling out. Maybe Mario Gómez will get a touch of the ball, which is all he needs. The most curious stat of the Euros to date is this: in all matches, Gómez has so far had possession of the ball for a total of eight seconds, and that was enough for him to score two goals. What will he do when he has the ball for 80 seconds?
4 comments
To be fair, the uncalled goal shouldn't have been a goal anyway as the play started with an uncalled offside. It was the rare moment where two refereeing wrongs actually did make the right result: no goal on the play. As to England, fair play to them, they've taken their chances when they get them, and absorb the other team's pressure. Ukraine had chances but they weren't exactly missing sitters either. Football's a game of two halves and most goals, not most possession or most passes wins. The rise of Spain/Barca the last few years seems to have confused football writers on that point.
- Crock1701
June 20, 2012 at 11:23am
Aye, they sure did look like ejits and the ejitry reached new heights this year. Had no idea though that it was a fashon show or about looking contemporary or stylish. Not sure you're getting the whole point of letting go and having fun Wheatcroft. The reason we're getting cheered is because there was 30,000 of us and not one hint of menace or trouble. Just lots of ejits stumbling around in good heart. So much so, that the citizens of Poznan threw a party just for the ejits, who they came to love so much. The coming together of nations through sport, ejitry and very unstylish hats. How informal. How unBritish. How alien to any experience English fans have when they travel, or riot as the locals call it. Soon enough, you'll be making a fool of yourself, and TNR again, like you did in your recent article, by asking us how the Finns kept their native language in tact while the Irish didn't. Completely oblivious to one of the most significant events in European history. Come here to me Geoffrey, me aul laddy, bend under me giant green hat, push yer way past my adoring European fans and I'll give ye a clue as to what I'm going on about...pssst....the hint is in that lugubrious dirge of a tune that everyone is signing.
- IggyPop
June 20, 2012 at 2:37pm
"Not sure you're getting the whole point of letting go and having fun Wheatcroft." Well, yes, that DOES go to the heart of the matter, doesn't it? Good Lord--after reading this sad story, I'm hoping he avails himself of a little psychiatric assistance--or, barring that, a quick hit of prozac--to assuage this loathing for everything west of la Manche. Just as well neither Wales, Scotland, nor NI made it to Euro 2012 as GW would require pages and pages to express his revulsion for the lot of them. Between the annoyingly musical bog-trotters and the dark satanic mills of English football, GW's sporting world seems unremittingly bleak. So, take heart, Wheatcroft. Here's a little tune to cheer you up: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2mmbKR98dTw Now, go re-read Under the Volcano and you'll feel much better in the morning.
- ccarrick@vzavenue.net-old
June 20, 2012 at 8:06pm
"Between the annoyingly musical bog-trotters and the dark satanic mills of English football, GW's sporting world seems unremittingly bleak." Ha! Xenophon.
- IggyPop
June 21, 2012 at 5:28am