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Go Home The Final Frontier of Tedium

EURO2012 JUNE 24, 2012

The Final Frontier of Tedium

If you have a headache, which is somehow related to a sense of utter meaninglessness;

If baseball looks like fun;

If you start craving food like French fries and bacon frappé;

If you catch yourself reading the NYT Magazine while watching the game, until you realize that might be an even greater waste of time;

If you start wondering if all the hours, days, and years you have spent watching soccer may have been misspent;

If you start devising insults as answers for questions you anticipate coming from friends and family (”How was the game?”);

If you start considering that all the American sports pundits who practice knee-jerk berating of soccer might have a point;

If you feel a need to apologize to all those who might be undergoing the torture of watching the game because of your soccer propaganda;

If you’re experiencing a tightening in your stomach at the thought of the team that cannot string three passes together—and this is a consequence of their alleged tactical set up;

You have watched England play.

And if you’re suicidal on top of that all, you have just watched England-Italy in Euro 2012. 

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Oh, please. Today was easily the most exciting of the four semifinals. England may not have been tactical wunderkinds today, but watching a nearly run match, with everything in the balance, is a wonderfully entertaining thing. Watching the Italians come close but not quite get it, having a lump in the stomach build each time England seemed to maybe have a break that could well have stolen the game, that was entertaining football. If you want boring, try Spain-France, where the former were content after getting a goal to pass the ball around the park to death and the latter never really seemed to try even after going down 1-0. Sorry there weren't enough pretty triangles for you, but there was plenty of exciting football in a match that was always in doubt. To call it boring and a waste of time is to be an utter stylistic chauvinist.

- Crock1701

June 25, 2012 at 12:12am

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If Italy had been a little more clinical in finishing chances this match would have been a rout. England put subpar quality players out on the pitch and you saw how they couldn't control the midfield at all. Parker is a journeyman who cannot play at this level and Gerrard's best days were four years ago. As for the wingers, they were execrable. If Hart's mentality has not been undone by Pirlo's sublime PK, he along with Rooney and Wellbeck will be the only survivors from yesterday's starting 11 who continue on for the three lions.

- agoldhammer@yahoo.com-old

June 25, 2012 at 7:49am

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