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Go Home Second Biggest Mystery Of The 70s Solved

JONATHAN CHAIT FEBRUARY 26, 2010

Second Biggest Mystery Of The 70s Solved

Now that we've learned the identity of Deep Throat, the one remaining thing we needed to know before we can close the books on the 1970s is, who was Carly Simon singing about in that annoying but catchy tune "You're So Vain"? Numerous romantic figures have been named, including Mick Jagger and Warren Beatty. And now... we know:

the target has been revealed as gay producer DAVID GEFFEN, at the time head of Carly's Elektra record label.

And rather than being angry about a failed relationship, Carly is thought to have resented the effort he put into promoting rival JONI MITCHELL.

No wonder everybody got it wrong. We were searching in the wrong sexual orientation.

Of course, the real problem here is that the song lyric ("You're so vain/You probably think this song is about you") is incoherent. Of course he thinks the song is about him -- it is about him. How could that be held up as evidence of vanity?

Update: The more I think about it, the less sense Simon's explanation for the song's subject makes. Take this verse:

You had me several years ago
When I was still quite naive
Well, you said that we made such a pretty pair
And that you would never leave
But you gave away the things you loved
And one of them was me

Okay -- everybody thought "had me" meant had me as a lover, but now she means as a client. That works. But what about this:

Well, you're where you should be all the time
And when you're not, you're with
Some underworld spy or the wife of a close friend

What's wrong with a gay man spending time with the wife of a close friend?

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12 comments

Stop the presses! Rock song lyrics don't make sense!

- henson1d

February 26, 2010 at 3:13pm

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What a terribly anticlimactic revelation.

- drdannyu

February 26, 2010 at 3:22pm

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This is from "The Sun", which I believe qualifies as a tabloid, the sort of source TNR would not normally rely on. I still think it's a composite.

- bjones

February 26, 2010 at 3:26pm

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I refuse to believe this.

- WandreyCer

February 26, 2010 at 3:33pm

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Slow news day at TNR?

- IowaBeauty

February 26, 2010 at 3:42pm

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Maybe Geffen paid more attention to Joni because he liked the way he was portrayed in Free Man in Paris more than he liked the portrayal in You're So Vain.

- Geoff G

February 26, 2010 at 3:42pm

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You just revealed why you're (one helluva!) political essayist and not a creative writer. Clearly, Simon started with Geffen and then morphed the dude with other personal and imaginative stuff. And, since when is dramatic irony incoherent? Cf., "unreliable narrator," and "dramatic irony." The singer's lyrics show a sense of humor about her own vanity as well as her target.... But I'm beginning to feel silly, so I'm done now.

- dmillstone

February 26, 2010 at 4:51pm

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True story: Geffen's phone number was also 867-5309.

- adaglas

February 26, 2010 at 6:05pm

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...True story: Geffen's phone number was also 867-5309... I called there: wrong number: I wanted Beechwood 4-5789.

- basman

February 26, 2010 at 6:50pm

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Are you sure it wasn't Pennsylvania 6-5000?

- cspencef

February 26, 2010 at 7:12pm

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I thought it was about Geraldo Rivera.

- CRS9TNR

February 26, 2010 at 10:16pm

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Not only is this from the Sun, but it's about playing records backwards and listening for secret messages. This could be a fun "look at the wacky tabloids" story but to uncritically accept that it's David Geffen is just nuts.

- Simon Greenwood

March 1, 2010 at 10:21am

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