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Go Home In Search of the Craziest GOP Policy

JONATHAN COHN JULY 8, 2010

In Search of the Craziest GOP Policy

BY SEYWARD DARBY

Is "one-world government," whereby the United States would cede all sovereignty to a manipulative international force, a real threat to the country? Republican leaders in many states seem to think so: The platforms they've written this year explicitly ban it.

This is just one example of the kind of language that's working its way into state Republican platforms this election cycle, perhaps thanks to the growing influence of Tea Party conservatives. TNR searched for some of the most outrageous planks out there. Here is what we found:

Texas

The GOP wants to make it illegal "to issue a marriage license to a same-sex couple and for any civil official to perform a marriage ceremony for such." Gay marriage is already banned in Texas—so, for people to break this proposed law, they'd have to be … already breaking the law?

Idaho

Republicans want to abolish the seventeenth amendment, because having state legislatures appoint U.S. senators again would "[restore] the constitution’s checks and balances that protects the rights and sovereignty of the states." Apparently, states' rights trump those of individual voters.

Iowa

Republicans want to get rid of the federal agriculture and energy departments, the federal and state education departments, the Occupational Safety and Health Administration (OSHA), and the International Revenue Service (IRS). The party also calls for "the reintroduction and ratification of the original 13th Amendment, not the 13th Amendment in today’s Constitution." The original amendment would have outlawed the taking of noble titles and foreign offices; the final amendment, of course, abolished slavery.

Montana

Republicans "oppose the concept of 'gun free zones' in any form or in any place except detention facilities." Schools need not apply.

Iowa (Again)

The GOP "oppose[s] any effort to implement Islamic Shariah law in this country." I have yet to see a bill in Congress—or the Iowa legislature—that would legalize caning or stoning. Also, percentage of Iowans who are Muslim: less than 0.5.

Texas (Again)

"We support eliminating bureaucratic prohibitions on corporal discipline … in foster homes to help alleviate the shortage of foster parents." So the GOP thinks there are Texans who would take in foster children if they were allowed to hit them. And the party supports them.

Maine

The GOP wants to "[r]eject the UN Treaty on Rights of the Child." The only countries in the world that haven't approved the treaty are the United States and Somalia.

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14 comments

The award for craziest has to go to Iowa for the 13th Amendment thing. Not for the implied diss against the amendment banning slavery. But because the "no noble titles" thing is a decades-old lunatic fringe idea that the Founders meant to outlaw lawyers and/or any self-admitting profession at all. Because lawyers sometimes adopt the honorific, "Esq.," which is a "noble title." Seriously. The "original 13th Amendment" business belches forth from somewhere lower in the gut of American paranoia than even the John Birch Society. None of the other cited planks carries so rich a heritage of crazy.

- rhubarbs

July 8, 2010 at 5:47pm

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Based on a quick scan of those platforms I think Iowa wins hands down. They go so far as to explicitly buy into the crazy North American Union" paranoia. "We oppose the proposed North American Union, which would do away with our borders and sovereignty, and we are opposed to the Amero, which would do away with our currency and sovereignty. "

- Attrill

July 8, 2010 at 6:01pm

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I like Iowa's firm commitment to oppose the imposition of "Islamic Shariah law in this country." This is a hot-button issue that must be dealt with immediately, especially in Iowa. I guess that pointing to the first amendment would be wrong because, after all, this is a Christian nation, and the first amendment has been badly misunderstood for generations. Look for Mittens and Mama Grizzly to get behind this initiative asap.

- propjoe

July 8, 2010 at 6:11pm

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Ironically, one of the most important piece of "evidence" for the "original 13th Amendment" nuts is an 1840 citizen's manual whose title refers to the nation as the "United States of North America": http://www.amendment-13.org/privatepubl.html So Iowa Republicans are against the North American Union, but they're for a phantom "amendment" whose existence is proven by a book that asserts the existence of a North American union.

- rhubarbs

July 8, 2010 at 6:21pm

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but they are AGAINST the imposition of Islamic Shariah law, baby. That's all you need to know.

- propjoe

July 8, 2010 at 6:32pm

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And Republicans actually want candidates to run on this nonsense?

- zardoz67

July 8, 2010 at 11:54pm

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Well, up here in Canadia we are so completely batshit scared of a North American Union and the Amero that we trot out an 84-yo granny to run around the country shaking hands people just to show were are never going to join the whole union thing. So I say more power to the Iowans. And I hope for more Republicans and Republican initiatives. Plus, Canada benefitted enormously from both Slavery and Prohibition - in the US. So, I am all FOR repealing the 13th amendment and bringing back Prohibition - in the US. And I certainly, fully and unequivocally think that Iowa - and in fact all of the US - should outlaw lawyers. Having already decimated your industrial base and your financial sector, having shipped every form of customer assistance to India, Americans should slowly reconcile themselves to the fact that they cannot and must not continue to dominate the legal market internationally. By all means, ban the lawyers - in the US - so that us outside can benefit from a freer market - a market free from American competition.

- icarusr

July 9, 2010 at 2:23am

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It's an utterly arbitrary, futile endeavor to pick the seven craziest ideas. The Iowa platform is chock full of lunacy. I like the tortured distinction between a "republic" (which we are) and a "democracy" (which we emphatically are not), the ultimate effect of which, I take it, is to disenfranchise everyone except conservative voters.

- Oberdier

July 9, 2010 at 12:12pm

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I am with the Iowa Republicans. I am terrified of the possibility that Sharia will become the new law of the land in America. A hat tip to those modern day Paul Reveres in the Hawkeye state.

- liberal reformer

July 9, 2010 at 12:21pm

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A comparison of senators in the 1800s to the late 1900s can lead one to wonder whether popular election of US senators might have been a mistake. Members of the German Bundesrat today are elected by their state legislatures. Indirect election might even weaken the influence of campaign contributors.

- hrlngrv

July 9, 2010 at 3:04pm

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hrlng: In Germany, almost all legal instruments are federal, while almost all administration is by the Länder. This is why direct Land representation in the Bundesrat is not only sound but actually necessary. And Bundesrat members are not actually elected by the Land legislatures; Land Prime Ministers and Ministers participate directly in the Bundesrat. Considering what goes on in State Legislatures and State Houses - remember the Tom DeLay redistribution farce in Texas, one of the largest states in the Union? - I have difficulty in understanding how you would, or could possibly, end up with better Senators.

- icarusr

July 9, 2010 at 3:44pm

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Just for the record, I"m a displaced Minnesotan, not a real Iowa. Actually almost an Manitoban ..... I know this state is full of crazy old F***s. You only have to walk down the street to know that everyone under 35 left for warmer climes or jobs. I just thought they were kinda ordinary crazy, not batshit stupid. Sharia Law?

- IowaBeauty

July 9, 2010 at 8:03pm

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It's possible the Iowans actually have something to worry about -- perhaps they're afraid that the embrace of corporal punishment by the Texas GOP is a sneaky way to get Sharia law in through the back door. Those slippery slopes are everywhere!

- reid

July 9, 2010 at 9:46pm

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Did you notice that Iowa also says: "We call for the legal ratification of the 14th Amendment and the clarification of Section I as based upon the author’s intent (Senator Jacob Howard) I thought we ratified the 14th Amendment back in 1868, so perhaps I'm missing something.

- hilzoy

July 10, 2010 at 11:10am

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