PLANK AUGUST 6, 2012
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Sometimes a chicken sandwich is just a chicken sandwich. Except, it seems, when it’s from Chick-Fil-A, and you find yourself in the midst of a culture war. In fact, the two of us are passionate participants in that war: Matthew is the lead writer at MereOrthodoxy.com and a socially conservative evangelical Christian; John is a gay man, a religious skeptic, and a well known marriage-equality advocate.
We differ on the definition of marriage, the existence of God, and other important stuff. Yet we’re also friends, not in the happy-pappy “can’t we all just get along” sense, or worse, in the self-congratulatory “look at how tolerant I am” sense, but in a more challenging and thus more meaningful way. We actually listen to each other, even when it’s hard.
Which is how we discovered last week some common ground in the whole Chick-Fil-A brouhaha. Some of it is easy: We agree that Chick-Fil-A president Dan Cathy has the right to opine as he wishes on controversial topics, however unwise a business decision that may be; that religious conservatives have a right to express their solidarity by eating fried chicken for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, however unwise a dietary decision that may be; and that gays and their allies have a right to boycott the restaurant and to protest peacefully, however ineffectual such boycotts may be. For comparison, consider the National Organization for Marriage’s “Dump Starbucks” campaign. (Starbucks supports marriage for same-sex couples.)
More substantially, we agree that public officials overstepped important constitutional bounds insofar as they suggested that Chick-Fil-A would be denied permits because of its president’s personal opinions. Perhaps most surprisingly, we agree that this whole thing has gotten out of hand on both sides.
In an online Southern Baptist publication Dan Cathy endorsed “the biblical definition of the family unit,” and he later denounced this generation’s “prideful, arrogant attitude to think that we have the audacity to define what marriage is about.” These remarks could have been an occasion for thoughtful dialogue on a whole host of topics: Christian humility, for example, or free speech, or marriage, or the value of pluralism. Instead, they’ve become yet another occasion for dialing up the heat in the culture wars.
Our main concern is this: Neither of us relishes the idea of a culture where ideological purity turns minor fast-food purchases into major political statements. Although we support being responsible consumers, only pennies (if that) of any Starbucks or Chick-Fil-A purchases ultimately find their way into corporate donations. A greater portion goes to the wages of local employees—some of whom (even at Chick-Fil-A) are gay; some of whom (even at Starbucks) are religious conservatives, and all of whom risk becoming collateral damage when restaurants turn into culture-war minefields. We would like to be able to disagree about Dan Cathy’s position on marriage while agreeing, in the words of the great gay pundit Antoine Dodson, that the waffle fries are bangin’.
Our more ideologically pure friends on both sides will balk at any analogy between the cases. John’s allies might point out that Chick-Fil-A funds organizations such as the Family Research Council, which has been designated by the Southern Poverty Law Center as a hate group. Matthew’s allies might argue that Starbucks is flouting the commands of God himself, potentially leading people to eternal damnation. In other words, both sides will insist that the cases are different because one side is right and the other is wrong. Either way, food becomes a symbol and a weapon in an omnipresent ideological struggle. Yup, that’s a culture war.
For the record (though this should go without saying), we each believe that our own side is right while the other is wrong, in morally significant ways. And yet we also recognize that if we’re going to coexist peacefully and productively, not every interaction—and especially, not every meal purchase—needs to be an occasion for trumpeting that belief.
This is not to say that we should shy away from argument. Quite the opposite: A culture that proceeds by protests and counter-protests will invariably bury the crucial arguments beneath piles of distractions.
Recently, the two of us did a joint presentation entitled “A Gay Man and an Evangelical Walk into a Bar: Frank Conversation in the Culture Wars.” The dialogue was spirited and rigorous, but it was also warm and civil. Afterwards, we went out to eat. We didn’t consider treating each other to Frappuccinos and Chick-Fil-A, but we might someday. Because sometimes coffee and a sandwich really are just coffee and a sandwich.
Matthew Lee Anderson is the lead writer at MereOrthodoxy.com and the author of Earthen Vessels: Why Our Bodies Matter to Our Faith. John Corvino is chair of philosophy at Wayne State University and the co-author (with Maggie Gallagher) of Debating Same-Sex Marriage.
6 comments
Hear hear!
- timteeter
August 6, 2012 at 4:11pm
Chick-Fil-A is closed on Sundays both to observe the Sabbath (well, the Christian Sabbath) and to let employees be with family (well, the ones who don't have several jobs). And their milkshakes are the best! If I could only get one on Sunday. Speaking of the Sabbath, how can Sunday, the first day of the week, be the Sabbath? As an ecumenical gesture, Chick-Fil-A should close on both Saturday and Sunday. Even though I couldn't get a milkshake on either day, it's a small price to pay for peace and harmony among Chick-Fil-A lovers. Is Chick-Fil-A kosher?
- rayward
August 6, 2012 at 4:13pm
As recovering secularist and agnostic, baptized into the Episcopal Church and married into a decidedly Roman Catholic family in the Acadian wonderland of South Louisiana, I've been witness to 14 traditional marriages in the last 3 years, including my second marriage. And by traditional, I mean between two consenting adults of the opposite sex. I see families of varying diversity that embrace the journey of two people who decide to join together "til death do they part" and yet, I have many friends who are gay and in committed relationships that, denied the chance for legal "confirmation" of their commitment to their partners, are left with participating in symbolic marriages with their family and friends, knowing that despite their love for each other, their commitment to one another and with the support of their family and friends, is denied the legal framework that codifies their unions and affords them the privileges that my wife and I enjoy - including social legitimacy of our relationship. The anti-gay marriage position, to me, is a dead end when a segment of our society deems it, not only just but necessary to deny a minority population the legal right and privilege given to themselves by the State. Sooner or later, we as a civil society realize that all of our citizens should have the privilege to marry the person of their choice. The non-sensical slippery slope argument of polyamory or bestiality are not even worth argumentative confirmation of being legitimate examples for why we should be denying gay marriage. The current brouhaha with Chik-fil-a is beyond silly. And while I can understand the more politicized gay community protesting the statements of CFA's Cathy, I can also understand the venomousness bigotry exhibited by some CFA supporters that is far more public and vocal than their otherwise whispered bigotry towards the gay community because their homophobia and bigotry stems from some deeper, irrational fear of the "other." The bigger claim to rightness is not which side feels more right, instead it comes down to which position ultimately can make the persuasive moral position that is supportive of equitable rights to all humans. I dare say, the evangelicals attesting their claim a moral high ground for denial of civil rights to a minority because of their claim to a higher authority. Yet that claim is nothing more than an interpretation of the higher authority is simply that...an interpretation. The Book is the interpretation but as in the everything to do with humanity and the written word, the ambiguity of word and meaning can easily cloud one's inner understanding of universal truths. But I yet to hear a persuasive argument for why a gay couple should be denied the civil right and privilege to marry one another when their act does nothing to diminish my own marriage or those married before us or to come. As a person, that tries to act in a humanistic and ethical manner, I fail sometimes and succeed in other ways, but there are simple reasons for why I support gay marriage. Because it is the right thing to support and further exemplifies what is meant by Agape. Without trying to practice a selfless love of humankind, how can we expect to be loved ourselves.
- singlspeed
August 6, 2012 at 4:33pm
"A culture that proceeds by protests and counter-protests will invariably bury the crucial arguments beneath piles of distractions." I don't understand this. It's not "a culture" that's out protesting at restaurants. It's individuals, and a comparatively small number of them. What has prevented anyone from having a rational and civil discussion about gay marriage? It was a hot-button social issue before, and it still is. On the contrary, the news and social media coverage of this has probably given people the opportunity to discuss gay and lesbian rights issues rationally with friends and family. I'm willing to bet that a lot of gay people have had sincere and thoughtful discussions with friends about why their CFA "likes" on Facebook last week were hurtful. I'm all for people being rational and respectful, but I don't see how public protests prevent that. And how is there anything uncivil about informally boycotting CFA? People who don't eat there are as capable of having a respectful adult discussion about gay rights as people who do. Nor can I see how taking your business elsewhere somehow is unfair to CFA employees. If you want to "boycott" them, you'll be spending your money at another fast-food joint (or hopefully some place healthier), which also has employees. In the unlikely event that the "boycott" leads to layoffs at CFA, KFC will probably be hiring. If CFA were really concerned about treating their employees fairly, it would let them unionize. It would also do something about the bad work environment for its gay and lesbian employees documented in the HuffPo piece to which you link, which is probably the most significant aspect of this affair and is completely unsurprising given CFA's corporate culture.
- lpowens3
August 6, 2012 at 5:49pm
Can somebody clarify for me where the monagamous nuclear family is ordained in the Bible? I keep looking for what a family is, and I keep coming up with Old Testament figures who had mutliple wives. If we can ignore that because it is disowned somewhere in the New Testament, can't we ignore the Old Testament prohibitions on homosexuality as well? I thought the new covenant was supposed to be about loving your neighbor or something like that. Jesus doesn't say squat about hating gays, denying marriage rights, or any of that stuff. So where do we get off using the Bible as part of the argument? I will leave for another day the question of why anybody should care what bronze age shepherds and fishermen thought about 21st century American social issues.
- gwcross
August 7, 2012 at 11:58am
The problem is Cathy is free to put Chick-Fil-A's money where his mouth is. If Chick-Fil-A just ran its business and followed all laws that pertain to that business, there would be no problem. Nor would communities have any grounds for rejecting a Chick-Fil-A restaurant in their area. The rubber meets the road, however, when corporations can make philanthropic and charitable donations to any groups or causes they please and get tax breaks in return for their "good corporate citizenship." Not cool. They have then left the realm of money-making and entered that of advocacy, which is none of their "business." Isn't this, in just another form, the sad lesson of Citizens United?
- Claris
August 7, 2012 at 2:50pm