SPORTS JANUARY 24, 2013
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Kobe Bryant is suffering a midseason crisis. Back in October, with 16 years and five championships under his belt with the Los Angeles Lakers, Bryant had looked to his new super-team—stocked with the aging, future Hall of Fame guard Steve Nash and the veteran big men Dwight Howard and Pau Gasol—as his last, best chance to match or even surpass the six titles won by Michael Jordan, his idol and the rarely disputed Greatest of All Time. There was talk of a new dynasty; the team prepared to implement the “Princeton offense.” Then it all fell apart. Midway through the season, the Lakers have a losing record that wouldn’t qualify them for the playoffs, have undergone one coaching change (which, if anything, has made matters worse), and are reportedly thinking of trading Howard, their prized offseason acquisition.
Perhaps not coincidentally, in just the past three weeks Bryant, aka the "Black Mamba," has shed his old skin for a smooth new identity. He has reunited with his formerly estranged wife Vanessa, on whom he cheated ten years ago in an incident that was alleged to be rape (his accuser refused to testify, and the charge was dropped); joined Twitter with the words, “The antisocial has become social #mambatweets”; launched a new Nike ad campaign; and gave a rare interview designed to dispel the notion that since he entered the league in 1996 he has been a legacy-obsessed sociopath. “There’s something different about you,” ESPN The Magazine’s Chris Palmer remarked in the interview. “Because I am,” replied Bryant. “That’s just the maturation.”
If the old Bryant was “Jordan: The Second Coming”—a dominant ball-hog obsessed with winning—the new Bryant is “Old Reliable”: a lover of the game above himself, still a high performer but also more modest, and a family man to boot. The seeds were planted a few years ago with Spike Lee’s ESPN documentary, Kobe: Doin’ Work, but a more appropriate definition can be discerned in the brand-new Nike motto: “Count on Kobe.” The object is to sell shoes, of course. But Bryant’s reboot feels more consequential and irrevocable than a simple branding shift. There has to be something more going on when what we get is a picture of Bryant seated at a piano, wearing a knit hat, winter coat, and two scarves, which he tweeted with the words, “Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata calms me down when I reach my breaking point #relaxandfocus.” Not that this shtick fits him any better than past ones have: The source of our enduring fascination with Bryant, perhaps the defining sports star of the past decade, remains the awkward self-consciousness with which he tries to convince us that he is something he is not.
That we question his genuineness is the one constant in Bryant’s public life. In 2006, literary critic Sam Anderson memorably argued that Bryant labored under an “anxiety of influence” with respect to Jordan—that, to borrow Professor Harold Bloom’s theory of poets, he self-consciously strove to simultaneously imitate and one-up his predecessor. The tragedy of Bryant is less that he can’t top Jordan on the court (arguably, he can) and more that it was so bleeding obvious that this was what he was trying to do. “Kobe is painfully bad at mythmaking,” Anderson wrote. “Since he’s a Jordan-like talent, Kobe clearly thinks that he’s entitled to the Jordan mythology, but he doesn’t have any of Jordan’s charisma or imagination.” He added, “Kobe exists entirely within quotation marks.”
The new Bryant is as meta as ever—more a concept than a human being. He has not “matured” any more than he previously was “immature.” Rather, now he is playing a matured basketball player, where before he had played an immature one (who occasionally “grew” or “overcame” during the playoffs). His off-court performance remains as awkward as his on-court performance isn’t. Take the Beethoven picture. His outfit is not particularly ridiculous for a star in a league where thick-framed glasses are a fashion trend rather than an optometrical necessity. But then one wonders: Who bundles up to play the piano? And can he really play “Moonlight Sonata”? In Bryant’s hands, the whole set-up is so obviously staged, and therefore ridiculous, that it seems he should be in on the joke—except that he is too self-serious for self-deprecation, which only compounds the problem.
The same could be said about his ESPN The Magazine interview. “When was the last time you pumped your own gas?” Palmer asked Bryant at one point. “Yesterday,” Bryant replied. “I do all of life’s daily tasks.” (In response to that immortal line, an intrepid Photoshopper gave us this masterpiece.) Bryant boasted of being the best one-on-one player ever, while carefully noting, “LeBron [James] is a terrific all-around, five-on-five basketball player.” He denied the commonly accepted story that he nicknamed himself “Black Mamba,” while acknowledging his embrace of it: “I found out what a mamba can do with its quick-strike capability. There’s a really good scene in the movie Kill Bill that explains it.” These three quotes are not articulations, respectively, of domesticity, magnanimity, and self-confident humility; they are parodies of domesticity, magnanimity, and self-confident humility.
Earlier this week, Bryant live-tweeted a viewing of his historic 81-point performance against the Toronto Raptors seven years ago, which Bryant had long claimed never to have viewed (this assertion was mocked three nights ago on TNT’s pregame show, which includes Shaquille O’Neal, Bryant’s former Lakers teammate turned nemesis). Twitter evidence suggests Nike put him up to the stunt. Bryant claimed that before the game he listened to Simon & Garfunkel’s “The Sound of Silence,” and that he could have scored 100 points had he not missed several “easy shots.” By the end, he tweeted, “I felt like I was looking at a Salvador Dali painting #masterpiece.” At least the Dada reference felt right.
And then there is basketball. That Bryant’s occupation feels like an afterthought speaks to the extent to which he wants us to think of him as bigger than, or at least apart from, the sport—which, in turn, suggests that his new persona might not be unrelated to his team’s mediocrity. Barely 18 when he played his first NBA game, Kobe is an old 34, but also the only member of his team to start every game this season. He has put the struggling Lakers—the NBA’s highest-rated soap opera this year—on his back, leading the league in field goal attempts (and field goals made) and averaging nearly 30 points a night. Kobe Bryant’s on-court play has been the quiet but coequal partner of his numerous identities through the years. This is why it's easy to accept the latest version of Bryant. On the court, you can still count on him to deliver the real, honest goods: basketball talent at its purest. But when he finally retires, no matter how he spins it on Twitter or in an ESPN interview, will we remember there was once something genuine about this snake?
Correction: A previous version of this story misstated the team against which Bryant scored 81 points.
11 comments
Kobe's 81 point game came against the Toronto Raptors, not against the NY Knicks. I was 16 years old, a junior in high school at a friend's house in West LA, and we watched it not entirely realizing what was happening as it was happening until it happened. Will never forget that. Also as a lifelong Laker fan (pleasantly surprised to be reading about the Lakers in TNR) who grew up with Kobe, I think you were right about Kobe's one genuine feature: his unyielding, ruthless drive for greatness. Maybe we'd call him a sociopath, but if so, it's only because we live in a world in which kleos has been relegated to sport. Kobe is our Achilles. His career has been marked by prophecy, hubris, and---again and again---tragedy. I don't buy the "new" Kobe anymore than I buy the Kobe that did McDonald's and Sprite ads from 1996-2004. The Kobe I know isn't someone who wants to be loved, but someone who's respected and feared, and maybe even hated for the same reasons. If we ever caught a glimpse of that Kobe off the court, it was here, in his first Nike ad after the sex scandal: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdt2w3njocM. That's the Kobe I know, and it's the Kobe Laker fans will remember.
- ASSIEFF
January 24, 2013 at 5:40am
Kobe Bryant is the reason I no longer follow sports, haven't for years, won't until the sickness he represents is eradicated (I won't hold my breath).
- WandreyCer
January 24, 2013 at 6:24am
what a mean spirited little article. I don't get that question about pumping gas, how the hell is that a representation of authenticity when owning a car is a luxury for a well over a majority of humanity? So he makes a lousy celebrity. The thing about lousy celebrities is evenutally they go away when they lose the ability that made them famous in the first place. Great celebrities, like Charles Barkley, find a way to stick around forever.
- blackton
January 24, 2013 at 9:20am
Kobe Bryant is not a people person. Neither is Michael Jordan. But Jordan did a much better job of faking it.
- DC Spence
January 24, 2013 at 11:37am
In a way it's surprising that he only has five championships.
- subterra
January 24, 2013 at 11:43am
Salvador Dali was a surrealist, not truly a Dadaist.
- TARFON
January 24, 2013 at 1:01pm
Salvador Dali was a surrealist, not truly a Dadaist.
- TARFON
January 24, 2013 at 1:01pm
blackton: "what a mean spirited little article." Exactly. Kobe Bryant might be a jerk. He might be a nice guy. Like many of us, he might be a combination of the two. But this psychobabble of a piece tells us more about the author than about the subject.
- Thunderroad
January 24, 2013 at 1:01pm
There are inaccuracies in this article. Kobe's alleged rape victim didn't refuse to testify. She agreed not to testify after she was paid big bucks by Kobe, probably millions, in a settlement. Michael Jordan is not the greatest basketball player of all time--Bill Russell is. Russell has 14 championship rings--2 in college, 1 in the Olympics, and 11 in the NBA. Jordan has 8--1 in college, 1 in the Olympics, and 6 in the NBA. I'm tired of the deification of Jordan. We know he's not God, because God can play baseball. But at least Jordan's secure within himself. Kobe isn't. He tries too hard to fit in off the court (he's just about right on the court). Using that bloodfest, Kill Bill, as a philosophical source? Kobe speaks several languages. He's above that. Maybe playing "Moonlight Sonata" is a breakout?
- magboy47.
January 24, 2013 at 8:37pm
I was always partial to Wilt 'the Stilt' as one of the great players on and off the court. Kobe has and always will be a selfish individual on and off the court and no amount of re-branding will change that or create the legacy that he thinks is his simply for being a good player. It takes more than dress-up and selling shoes.
- singlspeed
January 25, 2013 at 12:21pm
I didn't know the Black Mamba was called that because the inside of the mouth is black. I thought the whole snake was black. I have kind of missed the whole Kobe thing because I like college basketball, not NBA style. Kobe is interesting for a number of reasons. But I think Mr. Tracy misses a little bit of what's going on with Celebrity and Basketball when he fails to mention 'Basketball Wives' on VH1. Kobe has had a few problems with the ladies, but if you have seen Basketball Wives, you kind of understand what these Ballers are up against. Ask Terrell Owens. These stars are trapped between their endorsement deals that require the squeaky clean image, and the women and flunkies that want to help these guys have a little fun with their millions. What good is it to have millions if you can't live like Tiger Woods?
- CRS9TNR
January 25, 2013 at 5:58pm