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Go Home All He Really Needs To Know He Learned In Gracie Mansion

THE PLANK NOVEMBER 6, 2007

All He Really Needs To Know He Learned In Gracie Mansion

To recap: Rudy Giuliani has now argued that his tenure as Mayor of the Universe New York City gives him better foreign policy credentials than Joe Biden, a keener understanding of torture than John McCain, more experience at Ground Zero than the actual recovery workers, and a unique ability to secure the nation's borders against illegal immigrants.

At least now his contention that his wife is a bioterror expert thanks to her nursing background seems a little less out of left field.

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He also has a far better understanding of marriage, having been married 3 times. And is more knowledgeable about theology than most Christians, because he studied theology.

By why stop at the Presidency? Guiliani for Messiah!

- blackton

November 6, 2007 at 1:45pm

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blackton:  Was that written in Genesis Chapter 9, Verse 11?

- mghogwild

November 6, 2007 at 1:48pm

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Now there's a TV ad that writes itself: Giuliani bestrides the Hudson, gliding southward, skirts Long Island Sound, hops the Delaware and strides heroically over the Potomac.with a crown of light shimmering around his shiny pate.

- adaglas

November 6, 2007 at 1:54pm

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Subsequent commercials feature him miraculously cleansing the city streets of lepers, and raising Fiorello LaGuardia from the dead.

- drdannyu

November 6, 2007 at 2:40pm

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I heard on NPR this morning that in the past America has prosecuted as war criminals individuals who performed waterboarding on prisoners.  

Does any of my fellow TNR readers (or the writers) know of any documentation to support that?

- epackard-02

November 6, 2007 at 2:40pm

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Giuliani would take the two windshield squeegees from the beggers and restore the twin towers.

- epackard-02

November 6, 2007 at 2:42pm

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Another little known fact:  It was really Giuliani who fended off the Stay Puft Marshmellow Man back in the day.  Damn Hollywood changed it to a couple of nerds and a slacker.

- adaglas

November 6, 2007 at 2:52pm

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"...and my experience as US Attorney in New York will allow me to hunt, trap and contain the real Slimer- Mahmoud Ahmadinejad."

- boneill

November 6, 2007 at 3:13pm

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After further reflection I wish I had said "...the real Gozerian"

- boneill

November 6, 2007 at 3:23pm

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epack-

The White House refuses to say whether or not the practice of waterboarding—during which the subject is made to feel near drowning—will be prohibited by new detainee legislation, saying it would be wrong to tell terrorists which practices they might face. The American view of waterboarding was clearer in 1947, when the U.S. charged a Japanese officer with a war crime for using the technique on an American, ultimately sentencing the officer to 15 years hard labor.

That is from Air America, to be sure, but it is the first thing that came up when I tried to look for it.

This is from the WaPo

"Twenty-one years earlier, in 1947, the United States charged a Japanese officer, Yukio Asano, with war crimes for carrying out another form of waterboarding on a U.S. civilian. The subject was strapped on a stretcher that was tilted so that his feet were in the air and head near the floor, and small amounts of water were poured over his face, leaving him gasping for air until he agreed to talk."

I haven't sound primary source stuff.  Maybe when my boss leaves.

- boneill

November 6, 2007 at 3:27pm

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Thanks, Boneill. I heard on the afternoon broadcast of NPR news that the top U.S. military leaders are consider waterboarding illegal.

You have to wonder what people like Bush, Gonzalez, and Mukasey -- and their apologists -- are really like if they want to go against all the prevailing opinion and legal precedent to keep open the option of waterboarding.

- epackard-02

November 6, 2007 at 9:38pm

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Wasn't he in Ghostbusters II also?  I think I remember him as the defense attorney that time.  "Very good, Rudy: short, but pointless."  

- jhunger

November 7, 2007 at 8:38am

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