THE PLANK MARCH 3, 2009
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Fans of Arrested Development may recall Jeffrey Tambor as George Bluth, the white collar criminal who found that he loved prison. ("I'm doing the time of my life!")
Now it seems that white collar criminal Conrad Black feels the same way:
“I get up just after 7am except on the weekends and holidays, when it is
possible to sleep in,” Black, previously a famously late-riser, writes. “I
eat some granola and go to my workplace where I tutor high school-leaving
candidates, one-on-one, though sometimes I have to deal with up to four at a
time, around my desk, and talk with fellow tutors and other convivial people.“I lunch around 11am with friends from education, work on e-mails, play the
piano for 30 to 60 minutes, return to my tutoring tasks by 1pm, return to my
unit at 3pm, deal with more e-mails, rest from 4 to 6pm, eat dinner in the
unit then, and go for a walk in the compound or recreation yard for a couple
of hours, drinking coffee well-made by Colombian fellow residents, and come
back into the residence about 8:30pm, deal with e-mails and whatever, have
my shower etc., around midnight, read until 1-1:30 a.m. and go to sleep. On
the weekends it is pretty open."
--Jonathan Chait
8 comments
Does he have a flamer roommate named T-Bone?
- warfang
March 3, 2009 at 4:35pm
No touching!
- adaglas
March 3, 2009 at 4:40pm
Sounds like he found happiness in living a constructive life. Can't begrudge him that
- Simon Greenwood
March 3, 2009 at 4:50pm
Does White Power Bill object to him teaching?
- ebrunick
March 3, 2009 at 5:13pm
Sounds like all that is missing is someone whispering to him that he is the cutest jailbird he ever did see...
The whole rhythm section is a purple gang...
- thejauntyboulevardier
March 3, 2009 at 5:24pm
He does emails? These guys have access to the internet? Hell, if I could have unlimited internet and free room and board, sign me up, just don't put me in a cell with adaglas.
- blackton
March 3, 2009 at 5:26pm
Um, that's prison? Must be nice. No wonder the stereotypes of "country club prisons" for white collar criminals is so persistent. Sounds like the stereotype is fact.
- tnmats
March 3, 2009 at 5:58pm
Most people live in a prison of their own imagnation. Or, rather, the lack thereof. The real thing is just behind actual bars in an actual cell inside an actual institution.
On the other hand, most of the latter don't have access to email, pianos or "residents" who brew them a great cup of coffee.
At least that seemed to be the case in the Shawshank prison. In there, the wardon says things like, "Nothing stops. Nothing... or you will do the hardest time there is. No more protection from the guards. I'll pull you out of that one-bunk Hilton and cast you down with the Sodomites. You'll think you've been fucked by a train! And the library? Gone... sealed off, brick-by-brick. We'll have us a little book barbecue in the yard. They'll see the flMaybe ames for miles. We'll dance around it like wild Injuns! You understand me? Catching my drift?... Or am I being obtuse?"
George:
Maybe that's the prison Duke Cunningham and Jack Abramoff are serving time in.
george walton
- iambiguous
March 3, 2009 at 7:51pm