Deep Fry

This blessay [an intentionally horrible term for "blog essay"], while entirely different in other respects, is also unaccountably and inexcusably prolix. Sorry about that, I don't seem to be able to keep things brief. So my advice is that you read it in bits. Or print it out and save it for a rainy day or a recalcitrant motion.

Is it fun? Or, as student journalists always ask, what's it like? 'What's it like working with Natalie Portman, what's it like doing QI, what's it like being famous?' I don't know what it is like. What is being English like? What is wearing a hat like? What's eating Thai red curry like? I don't believe that I can answer any question formulated that way. So, student journalists, tyro profilers and rooky reporters out there, seriously, quite seriously never ask a 'what's it like' question, it instantly reveals your crapness. I used to try getting surreal when asked the question and say things like 'being famous is like wearing blue pyjamas at the opera. It's like kissing Neil Young, but only on Wednesdays. It's like a silver disc gummed to the ear of a wolverine. It's like licking crumbs from the belly of a waitress called Eileen. It's like lemon polenta cake but slightly wider. It's like moonrise on the planet Posker.' I mean honestly. What's it like?? Stop it at once.