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Go Home Fred Thompson's Launch Date

THE PLANK JULY 27, 2007

Fred Thompson's Launch Date

BY TNR STAFF AND TNR STAFF

Via this morning's Hotline, I see that Fred Thompson told Hannity & Colmes last night that he'll probably announce his candidacy in September. His reasoning:

"August is kind of a down month, not much going on, so it wouldn't make sense to do it in August."

Sound familiar? It should. Here's Andy Card, explaining back in 2002 why the White House waited until September to start aggressively making the case for war with Iraq:

"From a marketing point of view, you don't introduce new products in August."

And the Thompson analogies just keep on coming.

--Jason Zengerle

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56 comments

A story on NPR indicated the real reason for Thompson's delay is the current season of "Law & Order". Thompson wants to let the final few episodes he's in air since NBC is going stop running those episodes he appears in. Supposedly, Thompson is concerned about the money that wouldn't be paid to the various people that work on those episodes if he announced earlier and NBC didn't air the episodes. You can hear the report here.

- epackard

July 27, 2007 at 9:41am

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Michael Jordan is bald. So is Fred. Coincidence? Fred Thompson is the Michael Jordan of 2008. Fred Thompson is an actor/politician, JUST LIKE REAGAN! Fred Thompson and Lamar Alexander: both former Senators from Tennessee who tried to run as folksy presidential candidates. Wow, it's uncanny! We can say with certainty therefore that Fred Thompson will fail as a presidential canddiate and serve as a Secretary of Education. Fred Thompson and Mahatma Gandhi... again, both bald. Beware Hindu Fundamentalists, Senator. Fred Thompson said something about flies buzzing, AS DID LYNDON JOHNSON once. Wow. He's the Lyndon Johnson of 2008. Telly Savalas and Fred Thompson, both actors, both bald. Savalas kicked ass in the Dirty Dozen. Will Thompson kick the dirty dozen GOP primary candidates' asses (but go suicidal at the last minute)?? Oh wait, it was the dirty dozen kicking the Nazis ass and it was CHarles Bronson who survived. I think that might portend a McCain victory after all.

- stgla

July 27, 2007 at 9:55am

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How is announcing you're going to announce not announcing? Just wondering.

- adaglas

July 27, 2007 at 10:17am

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These things are too confusing for you, and me. Mysterious are the ways of our betters. I reccomend lying on the couch with a damp cloth over your forehead, a copy of A Charge To Keep" in front of you.

- boneill

July 27, 2007 at 10:50am

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I just checked Amazon; there are 103 new and used copies of A Charge to Keep available for $0.01. That's kind of a rip-off, if you ask me.

- adamvaught

July 27, 2007 at 11:06am

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I'll split the cost of one, if someone wants to go halfsies.

- boneill

July 27, 2007 at 11:52am

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You guys are funny! I wish I had a couch to lie on.

- gmodell

July 27, 2007 at 12:03pm

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I would, but I don't think I can swing it. I'm spending my entire book-buying budget this year on Hayes's Cheney book.

- epicciuto

July 27, 2007 at 12:16pm

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Save your money; I'll sum it up for you: Cheney's awesome!

- adamvaught

July 27, 2007 at 12:18pm

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sigh...it's like Hayes took dictation from my fantasies...

- epicciuto

July 27, 2007 at 12:32pm

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Not only do you have the line of the day (and on a day when williamyard came back, nontheless), but I think you provided a dust-jacket blurb for Hayes.

- boneill

July 27, 2007 at 12:42pm

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My favorite part of the book was when Cheney killed that terrorist simply by staring at him.

- adamvaught

July 27, 2007 at 12:43pm

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I shudder to think what sort of book recommendations you're going to get from Amazon after that search. I wonder what the value of those $0.01 books would be if sold as pulp. There could be a real profit opportunity there.

- adaglas

July 27, 2007 at 12:56pm

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No. But Just Making Shit Up As I Go by Alberto Gonzales is do out in October.

- adamvaught

July 27, 2007 at 1:33pm

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Well I just got an email from Amazon letting me know My Pet Goat, I Fucking Hate Everyone by Ann Coulter, The Dinosaur Myth by Charles Thaxton, and The World Is Flat by Tom Friedman are available. So, not good.

- adamvaught

July 27, 2007 at 1:11pm

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I took "My Pet Goat, I Fucking Hate Everyone" to be only one title for a second. Which could make Bush's September 11 actions that much more interesting, were it true. And bone -- hooray, the Yard's back! I knew Commie dog-fucking couldn't keep him away (indeed, I assumed he hosted parties featuring it).

- epicciuto

July 27, 2007 at 1:19pm

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Any word on the release dates of Unknown Unknowns: The Donald Rumsfeld Story or How You Like Me Now, Jagoffs? by John Ashcroft?

- adaglas

July 27, 2007 at 1:25pm

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Dick Cheney, unknown to most people, is doing an audio-update of Ginsburg's "Howl". It isn't a literal reading of the poem as much as a recording of Cheney's savagely erotic yelp as he tears the throat out of a mewling lamb.

- boneill

July 27, 2007 at 1:47pm

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There's also one coming out called In Over My Head. But I forget who it's by. Maybe Michael Brown? Or Monica Goodling? Or Alberto Gonzales? Or Sara Taylor? Or Harriet Miers? Or Bush?

- epicciuto

July 27, 2007 at 1:51pm

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"It isn't a literal reading of the poem as much as a recording of Cheney's savagely erotic yelp as he tears the throat out of a mewling lamb." This is in itself a poem.

- epicciuto

July 27, 2007 at 1:52pm

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John McCain is going to have plenty of time in the coming months to write What the Fuck Happened To Me: The story of the 2008 Republican Primary.

- adamvaught

July 27, 2007 at 1:56pm

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Whoops . I just want to sit here and make up book titles all day. "God I'm bored." "You look bored." "I am bored."

- adamvaught

July 27, 2007 at 1:57pm

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Took me a few minutes. Ocean's 11. Nice. epic, love the "In Over My Head" title. There could literally be dozens of authors. (By the way, I am not going to italicize. You can all go to hell) "Reclaiming America: A Guide To Reinvigorate Our Political Once I Saw A Guy At A Bus Stop Who Had A Hat That Looked Like Mine Well A Hat I Used to Own But It Got Lost In the Wind Or My CrawlSpace Or...What? Oh Yeah. Politics" by Mike Gravel

- boneill

July 27, 2007 at 2:03pm

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I'm Not Going to Italicize - You Can All Go To Hell! - Confessions of a Lazy Plankster, by Boneill.

- adaglas

July 27, 2007 at 2:11pm

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"I'm A Big Jerk And No One Likes Me" by Adaglas (ghostwritten by Arthur Schlessinger)

- boneill

July 27, 2007 at 2:18pm

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I thought this was all about "Law & Order"... Sean Connery for VP?

- Icewiz

July 27, 2007 at 3:54pm

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At the Plank on a Friday nothing is what it seems.

- boneill

July 27, 2007 at 3:57pm

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Boy was Stephen Hayes pissed when he found out that title was already taken.

- adaglas

July 27, 2007 at 4:12pm

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How could I be joining this thread so late!?? (Curse you, Facebook!!) epic (I love that abbreviation), the line about dictation from your fantasies is classic. This whole thread has had me laughing out loud.

- drdannyu

July 27, 2007 at 4:18pm

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You guys forgot My Life as a Footnote by Dennis Hastert

- drdannyu

July 27, 2007 at 4:20pm

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It's a same when a thread dies. Did that Scott Thomas thread die yet? If not it should. Anyone seen the Simpsons Movie yet. Soooooo bored here.

- adamvaught

July 27, 2007 at 4:22pm

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I heard he and Bill Frist flipped a coin over that title. Frist got stuck with Coma Bitch Fucked Up My Career

- adaglas

July 27, 2007 at 4:25pm

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I think Scott Thomas thread died. I hope it did, anyway. 5 hours until I see the SImpson's movie, adam. I am getting excited.

- boneill

July 27, 2007 at 4:27pm

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Awesome. Just awesome. I am a big fan of John Boehner's "It Is Pronunced 'Bay-Ner', You Assholes"

- boneill

July 27, 2007 at 4:30pm

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I have an hour and a half left of work, and I am pretty sure fellow midwesterners adaglas and adamvaught do as well, unless vaught is slipping out early. I refuse to let this thread die. "This TSA Job Is Not As Glamorous As President Bush Said It Would Be" by Norman Minetta

- boneill

July 27, 2007 at 4:37pm

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Sorry boneill, I leave at 4. But hey, going to the Norman Minetta jokes doesn't mean the well's run dry. No, not at all. Keep hope alive, True Believer.

- adaglas

July 27, 2007 at 4:39pm

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Hell, Even I Don't Know Who I Am: A Career in Politics by Jim Gilmore should be a page turner.

- adamvaught

July 27, 2007 at 4:39pm

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I'm here til 4:30, bone.

- adamvaught

July 27, 2007 at 4:41pm

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Management for Dummies by Paul Wolfowitz. Management for Effing Retards by L. Paul Bremer Management for Rotting, Moss-Engulfed Tree Stumps by Alberto Gonzales.

- adaglas

July 27, 2007 at 4:45pm

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Running a Nation of 300 Million People on $20 A Day by Grover Norquist.

- adaglas

July 27, 2007 at 4:47pm

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My Life on the Hill by Mark Foley

- drdannyu

July 27, 2007 at 4:50pm

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And I'm outta here for the weekend.

- drdannyu

July 27, 2007 at 4:50pm

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God, I hope you meant "page-turner" as a truly abominable pun. I do hope.

- adaglas

July 27, 2007 at 4:51pm

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"Drinking, Smoking, and Shooting Of Guns: Why Running the ATF Rules" by Ronnie Carter Yeah, I had to look that one up. Great posts, ada and drdan.

- boneill

July 27, 2007 at 4:53pm

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The Gilmore one was fantastic, vaught. I don't care. I'm going to keep doing this. And get paid for it. "This Job Keeps Me Rolling In the Bitches" by Secretary of the Interior Dirk Kempthorne Trust me, that one is a lot funnier if you saw his picture.

- boneill

July 27, 2007 at 4:56pm

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You can't think I was serious, adaglas. Puns of that quality are just my style. And now, for real, I'm going home.

- drdannyu

July 27, 2007 at 4:59pm

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How to Run the Country on Hugs, Kisses, Tofu, and You by Dennis Kucinich.

- adamvaught

July 27, 2007 at 5:02pm

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Fuck Off by Dick Cheney as told to Patrick Leahy.

- adamvaught

July 27, 2007 at 5:04pm

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"Harry Potter And the Deathly Hallows" by Joe Biden. Yeah- a joke about 20-yr-old plagarism. So?

- boneill

July 27, 2007 at 5:07pm

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"I Watch More Porn Than Anyone Else In The Supreme Court" by John Paul Stevens (who knew?)

- boneill

July 27, 2007 at 5:12pm

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Harry Potter and the Congressman's Bone by Mark Foley.

- adamvaught

July 27, 2007 at 5:26pm

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"The Ann Coulter Diet: Don't Lose Fat, Just Slowly Squeeze Out Your Soul!"

- pjsmmjd

July 27, 2007 at 6:06pm

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My Husband, My President--Condi

- prometheusnox

July 27, 2007 at 10:11pm

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John Paul Stevens Is A Goddamn Liar by Clarence Thomas.

- guyminuslife

July 27, 2007 at 10:50pm

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Spy Games: Names and Addresses of Undercover CIA Agents by Richard Armitage Everything I Know About Running the Justice Department, and Other Short Stories by Alberto Gonzales, et al.

- guyminuslife

July 27, 2007 at 11:41pm

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Double Guantanamo: How Two Negatives Make a Positive by Mitt Romney I Swear to God, I Hate That Fucking Pink Jacket by John Edwards, with a foreword by Robin Givhan Undisclosed Location: Constitutional Precedent for a Non-Executive Vice-Presidential Branch of Government by Richard Cheney

- guyminuslife

July 28, 2007 at 3:29am

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