The New Republic

You're right to find this column surprising and welcome, but I would give it somewhat greater credit than you do. Gerson concludes that it's not realistic to expect celibacy before marriage, and also that marriage should be entered into only in the early-to-mid 20s. The obvious (though not quite express) conclusion is that sexual relationships for unmarried folks should be condoned -- not the conclusion one would expect from a social conservative. Where he does urge taking a strong stand are against childbearing outside of marriage, and against serial no-commitment relationships. These points are ones that social liberals can endorse.

- TARFON

September 16, 2009 at 3:30pm

Indeed, TARFON, though such a development in social mores is unthinkable without widespread, easy access to and early education about a wide range of birth-control methods. Which raises the question: Can a person who favors birth-control education in the schools, easy access to contraception by all, and the open acceptance of premarital sex be called a "social conservative"? "But he's still against abortion," one might argue, except that the most committed pro-lifers regularly denounce sex education and all forms of contraception as well. Unless he's willing to call Obama a socialist or a Nazi, Gerson just wrote himself out of the conservative movement.

- rhubarbs

September 16, 2009 at 4:55pm

Not to be snooty about Gerson's willingness to discuss sex intelligently (difficult in the United States at the best of times), but haven't there been jeremiads about the death of marriage and the decline in young people's habits in the 1980s, the 1960s, the 1920s and all the way back to classical Athens and the plays of Aristophanes? In particular, I'm old enough to recall the prurient articles about the hippie communes in the late 1960s, the swinger parties of the 1970s, the punk slam-dancing of the 1980s, and almost anything else that broke with the "courting etc" model of human relationship. You could argue, indeed, that that bore fruit for the conservatives, that ultimately a high level of prudishness came back into American life. The sense of easygoing-ness that I recall as a kid from the late 60s and early 70s seems long gone.

- ironyroad

September 16, 2009 at 5:25pm

There is a wonderful passage in John Fowles's novel, The Magus: We lay on the ground and kissed. Perhaps you smile. That we only lay on the ground and kissed. You young people can lend your bodies now, play with them, give them as we could not. But remember that you have paid a price: that of a world rich in mystery and delicate emotion. It is not only species of animal that die out. But whole species of feelings. And if you are wise, you will never pity the past for what it did not know. But pity yourself for what it did." george: This speaks untold volumes regarding how degrading sex has become in today's world. Sex has largely become a vulgarian fulcrum...a pustulant pecuniary mechanism that marketers use to sell commodities. It is the prurience of gutter capitalism selling the prurience of gutter relationships. george

- iambiguous

September 16, 2009 at 9:58pm

@ironyroad: A lot of people, myself included, attribute the post-1980s generations' less freewheeling attitude towards "the dirty deed" -- at least compared to the Summer of Love and the key-partying '70s -- not to conservative scolding, which is no more effective now than it ever was, but to the AIDS epidemic. Free love ain't free when it can cost you your life. But while kids are more careful now (and perhaps more willing to experiment with techniques beyond simple coitus, if today's prurient mass-media articles can be believed) they are as horny as ever, so "more careful" is a welcome sign.

- austinexpat

September 17, 2009 at 8:01am

austinex -- your point is well taken. I didn't mention the AIDS arrival in the early 1980s, which was a big mistake, and I agree that it threw a bucket of cold water over things, as was inevitable. And I certainly wasn't suggesting that "be careful!" is an unwanted or inappropriate warning. It's a lot better than "just say no!", that's for sure. Indeed, conservative scolding doesn't influence much either, if it ever did (although I think it did in a more rural and conventionally religious culture), but conservatives are certainly good at making sure the scolding doesn't translate into anything practical to keep kids healthy and prevent pregnancies. But I think I'd still argue that we have psychic problems in the U.S. that seem quite strange once you think about them -- the fear of the body, the hypersensitivity to sex in movies flanked by an unproblematic acceptance of grisly violence, the paranoia and evasiveness about children's sexuality, the extreme prudery, et cetera. Find me another country in the western world where parents were investigated for taking pictures of their young kids in the bath! It wouldn't surprise me if there's a prosecution for two nine-year-olds playing "nurse and doctor" next. I don't say that the entire nation is like that, but I do think we have a very deep insecurity about pleasure and desire and haven't been able to get a handle on it.

- ironyroad

September 17, 2009 at 11:32am