THE PLANK NOVEMBER 16, 2007
Talk about a killjoy: USA Today has a feature up on its web site starring Slim the Fitness Turkey. Presenting readers with an ala carte list of popular Thanksgiving dishes, Slim encourages us to check the items we plan to eat so that he can tally up the calories and then tell us how many hours of exercise we'll need to "work it off." (For instance, following a feast of turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, buttered rolls, wine, and pumpkin pie, I will need to jog for nearly two hours--or walk for more than three hours--to restore caloric equilibrium.)
I understand we the people are way too fat. But don't we deserve one day off from endlessly obsessing about our national waistline? Thanksgiving tradition demands that we eat too much and blob out on the sofa watching football. Lecturing folks about how many calories a helping of green bean casserole has won't convince them not to overindulge; it will simply increase their odds of suffering guilt-induced heartburn.