The Plank

Have Another Twizzler And Chill Out

When exactly did Halloween become a primary focus of America's psychosexual anxiety? As Andrew briefly noted over at the Dish, some gals are troubled by the complicated sexual politics of costumage. Moms and dads, meanwhile, are freaked out by the trend toward increasingly trampy kids' costumes. Best of all, every few months I seem to run across some article disapprovingly citing Halloween as Exhibit A in the trend of Baby Boomers' refusal to grow up. (Most recently, in WaPo piece about sleazy kiddie garb linked above.)

It used to be that only the religious nutters became hysterical over the holiday and its unholy aspects. But increasingly it seems everyone's
got some Halloween grievance or anxiety about which to consult their therapist. 

Relax, folks. It's Halloween, for God's sake. The whole point of the modern holiday is to be silly and stupid and indulge in a little escapism for a couple of hours. If you're going to tie yourself up in knots wondering whether your penchant for bar wench attire will make your co-workers think you're sleazy or if your preference for scary costumes over slutty ones will make your yoga pals wonder if you're ashamed of your sexuality, you are missing the point, putting waaaaay too much thought into this issue, and probably need more to do with your time. As for pre-teen hooker outfits: Don't like 'em? Don't buy 'em. It won't hurt your 10-year-old
slutty-kitty wannabe to learn now that life is full of little
disappointments. 

Seriously. If we can't navigate this most trivial of holidays without angst, how can we expect to survive the excruciatingly fraught Christmas/Hannukah/Kwanzaa/Festivus season?

--Michelle Cottle

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