THE PLANK AUGUST 26, 2008
In his touching effort to cobble together a top twenty list of slights to Hillary Clinton at the DNC, NRO's Jim Geraghty has stretched the word "snub" so far that it may never be fit for human use again. Did you know that, despite the prominent Clinton supporters who were given speaking slots (Ed Rendell, Ted Strickland), there will be even more speakers who endorsed Barack Obama? I know, shocking. Or that the small, safely Republican states of Kentucky and West Virginia (whose defining characteristic is now evidently that they voted for Clinton in the primaries) didn't get choice spots on the floor? The nerve. Geraghty's list goes on (and on) in this vein, frequently stretching one imagined snub out into several. (Not picking Hillary for veep is number one, but he sneaks it back in again at nineteen; the Obama endorsers that got speaking slots comes up a few times; a snub counted once against Hillary can be counted a second time against Bill, etc.)
The recent outpouring of empathy from conservatives is genuinely moving, but this ship has sailed. If they really want to demonstrate their heartfelt solidarity with the Clintons--and win over the theoretical legions of disaffected Democrats she commands-- their next step is clear. They should press John McCain, who's more likely to listen to their advice in any case, to pick her as his running mate. Show us that you mean it, guys.
Update: Geraghty replies, suggesting it was all a put-on because item #20--"None of the delegates are being encouraged to visit the Denver Zoo to see the pumas"--was a joke, as far as I can tell the only intentional one in the bunch. Readers are invited to take a look and decide for themselves whether he is a half-hearted monkeywrencher or the blandest satirist currently in practice.