The Plank

[insert Adjective Here] Tuesday Contest!

By

With all due respect to the millions of voters who will cast primary votes today, the New York Times enlisted
a comedy troupe to make light of the outrageous, escalating adjectives
that accompany what was once just a Tuesday in February. Some of the
better ones:

Ruby Tuesday: Would guarantee high voter turnout
because everyone who votes is eligible for unlimited salad bar,
provided they also order an entree.

Whose Day?: All voting is call-and-response.
Tuesday-O: Harry Belafonte serenades you as you enter the voting booth, and then denounces the election as a fraud.

(This
one tickled me especially: I'd say 90% of new
acquaintances mangle my name into a soaring rendition of the Banana
Boat Song).

Tuesducken: Voting takes place in a ballot booth tucked inside a duck that has been crammed into a turkey.

 As
we all fidget in hopeless anticipation of Horribly-Inconclusive-Results
Wednesday, surely the TNR commenters can do better. Give it your best
shot! Winner recieves Super, Duper bragging rights.

--Dayo Olopade

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