Karl Rove's Column Contest: The Results Are In

A blue-ribbon panel has evaluated the top-notch entries for the Karl Rove Essay Contest, and we have selected the following winners:

3rd PRIZE: teplukhin2you, with, "This is a column by the Great Karl Rove, whose tears cure cancer. Too bad he never cries."

2nd PRIZE: Fwright, with, "Remarkably, Democrats are still enamored with Barack Obama, despite the fact that the senator barely bothers to hide the fact that he has fathered not one, but *two* black children with a black woman."

1st PRIZE*: boneill, with, "(Dictated) 'Mmmm...mmmm...this puppy is so goddam delicious!  Mmmmm.  What?  Oh, hello, and welcome to my column.'"

Bask in your glory! 

*1st prize would be a framed, photoshopped picture of John Edwards in latex chaps (horrifying image courtesy of drdannyu), if we had one. 

--Eve Fairbanks