THE PLANK NOVEMBER 11, 2009
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Speaking of recession-era money-making schemes, I've noticed of late that my spam filter is catching waaaaay more penis-enhancement ads than usual. (My favorite come-on of the day: "Power Pack Your Tool in Your Pants.")
So I got to wondering about the possible market factors driving this rise. When the economy goes south, do more people:
A. find themselves suffering higher levels of stress-related sexual dysfunction
B. seek consolation in the sheets, thus becoming more interested in products promising a little boost
C. get so desperate for cash they start their own power-tool-themed mail-order business.
Whatever its root cause, the trend certainly makes my morning spam purge more electrifying.
8 comments
I'm sorry, but it it's not "Steve Martin's All Natural Penis Beauty Cream: New Formula," I'm just not interested. http://www.hulu.com/watch/4139/saturday-night-live-steve-martins-penis-beauty-creme
- Crock1701
November 11, 2009 at 5:17pm
Can't help you with the explanation...but should guys who actually fall for the schemes be allowed to vote, or operate heavy equipment (no pun intended).
- robertgorton
November 11, 2009 at 5:19pm
"Root" cause, "morning spam purge", "electrifying". Really? We need more Ms. Cottle.
- raylward
November 11, 2009 at 5:21pm
The question is, has Chris tried it, and does it work? I tend to think he has because generally spam increases to such an extent only when one actually buys the product, so maybe he did, and used your email address.
- blackton
November 11, 2009 at 6:50pm
michelle, Are you sure that they're not confusing your email address for all those who reside at the Spine?
- MrCookie1
November 11, 2009 at 7:07pm
Spam? Hell, that's nothing. Scot's Dick-Gro or whatever this stuff is is advertising on TV now. And not just on fringe channels like Hallmark Men or Discovery Hitler or Outdoor Shooting Things. On major networks. In prime time. We're talking CBS and NBC and USA and TNT here. So the question isn't so much why is willie sauce making such a big push that it's advertising on Medium and Law & Order, but where have all the real advertisers gone? And are the networks accepting loose change for national ads? What does it mean for a possible third-party conservative presidential campaign in 2012 that you can now purchase national TV ads for literally tens of dollars?
- rhubarbs
November 11, 2009 at 7:22pm
Or possibly it could be: D. Unemployed dudes haven't gotten laid in about 2 years and are desperate. They'll try anything to get a chance just to sniff a little sweet stuff. Who cares how much it costs, just send me something soon so I can finally crack these eggs.
- CRS9TNR
November 11, 2009 at 8:39pm
It's a terrible irony that that the unemployed now have time for sex and romance but the fact of being unemployed claws down one's self-esteem and endangers one's family's survival. I remember in the early 70s we used to have utopian dreams that technology would cut down the tedious work that people have to do to keep society going and liberate us to study, think, make love, and develop the better sides of our nature.
- ironyroad
November 11, 2009 at 9:52pm