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Go Home Lovin' Large

THE PLANK JULY 28, 2009

Lovin' Large

BY MICHELLE COTTLE

Despite my honest efforts to avoid watching or reading about--much less commenting on--reality TV, the very concept underlying some offerings is too troubling to ignore. Several years back, in the more innocent days of the genre, "Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire" fell into this category for me. What could be more culturally corrosive, I wrote, than a show specifically geared to perpetuate the stereotype of women as self-abasing, cat-fighting gold-diggers? (Oh, how naive was I.)

The idea underlying Fox's newest exercise in public humiliation, "More to Love," is less aggressive but more insidious in its ickiness. It's not that the show is particularly mean to its participants--20 plus-sized gals competing for the affections of one adorably warm and fuzzy plus-sized gent. In fact, according to the WaPo's Tom Shales, "MTL" is, if anything, overly delicate in its handling of the trials, tribulations, and heartaches of its Rubenesque competitors.

But, in general, we are talking about a program that sets obese people apart as some exotic species with its own peculiar datings rituals and rules of engagement. (Note that "MTL"  isn't about chunky women competing for a non-chunky guy. Mustn't cross-breed! That would go against nature.) And, of course, we get to gawk at the gals as they weep about how hard it is for them to function as XXLs in an XXS-worshipping culture. "More to Love" may be excruciatingly sensitive in the particulars, but the show could just as well--and more honestly--have been named: "Look! Fat People Trying to Mate!"

Of course, the screaming irony here is that our entire society is fast approaching XXL. Fat Americans don't occupy some alien subculture. They are America. Which, on some level, makes it even weirder that we're treating them like some gawk-worthy if sympathetic circus freak show.

Then again, no one has ever accused Fox of being overly tasteful. For next season, I hear they have a show in the works that will pit two dozen uninsured, chronically sick gals against one another for a shot at marrying a guy with really great health coverage.

--Michelle Cottle

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12 comments

Your last idea has a lot of merit.  Surprise twist?  Gal has insurance claim denied due to failure to disclose preexisting condition, dumps guy.

- bcbaird

July 28, 2009 at 11:26am

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Reality TV is the ultimate in unreality. This post is like a foreign planet to me. I watch no TV and only know about such television by reading about it in such forums as this one.

- liberal reformer

July 28, 2009 at 11:29am

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bcbaird, I thought the same thing. a XXL girl has a better chance of marrying a slim guy than one of those sickly women getting insurance.

- blackton

July 28, 2009 at 11:52am

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I stumbled upon a blog post and comment thread last year where a bunch of size 0 and size 2 women were expressing outrage at an advertising campaign that used the phrase "real women"    (something along the lines of real women having real curves)   as a euphemism for heavyset women.  They railed against the advertisers for questioning their status as real people with real feelings.

They felt "devastated" that anyone anywhere would say something that elevated heavy women to a status higher than their own even though the vast preponderance of media  constantly strokes their egos.  Look at  female newscasters and actresses, and consider most advertising. How many magazine covers at the checkout line don't feature bikini clad hotties and claims about diet tips? In fact it appears that the surest way to discredit someone----especially a woman-------is to suggest that she is fat.  Look at the flap over the weight of Obama's recent nominee for Surgeon General.  And who was it that resorted to calling McCain's daughter fat when trying to stifle  her arguments?

Overweight people are routinely marginalized in our society.  Blaming them and/or laughing at them is widely condoned  even while many other prejudices are being successfully fought.  

Secretly, I wished upon those super slender whiners that they should have a daughter who has to struggle with her weight. (Shucks, genetics is not going to help me out here!) Maybe when they love someone in the reviled category they will be a little less concerned about the extraordinary affront afforded by ONE advertiser in allowing heavy women to believe that there is  something attractive about them in a society that generally depicts their romantic yearnings as comical.  

- kerFuFFler

July 28, 2009 at 11:53am

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Honestly, it does seem like there's a lot of anger spontaneously directed at the relatively thin, regardless of whether they hold or express the views described by kerfufflrer. No, it's not as bad as the prejudice fat people face. But it's still quite silly.

- miceelf

July 28, 2009 at 1:29pm

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If we're going to start glamorizing these kinds of health conditions we should start with drug addiction.  It's harder to treat and there's nothing as romantic as seeing two lovebirds shoot up behind a dumpster together for the first time.  For obesity I think the "Biggest Loser" type show is the way to go and predict/hope this one will get canned due to blowback.

- Simon Greenwood

July 28, 2009 at 1:57pm

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Michelle, you are aware that your last proposal actually exists?

www.youtube.com/watch

- achester99

July 28, 2009 at 2:32pm

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miceelf,

where have you encountered examples of this mistreatment of the slender?  About the only slender person I have ever seen mocked is Ann Coulter, but she is so  personally objectionable on so many other levels that one could scarcely blame derision of her on her build.  (I am not denying your experiences, but seriously, just wondering....)

I'll concede that Phyllis  Diller made fun of herself for scrawniness, but really, show me a heavy comedian, and I'll show you a comedian who spends about half his routine doing fat jokes.

- kerFuFFler

July 28, 2009 at 5:22pm

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Michelle Cottle Quotient - one sentence. That's all it took to realise it must be a blog post from her.

kerFuFFler, in re to your question to miceelf - I'm a guy, and I've been told by heavier people that I "should eat more!", "put some flesh on those bones!", "you look unhealthy!" and the like. I am thin but not unhealthily so, and why they felt the need to give me their unsolicited advice about how they think I should look, I don't know. Compensation, maybe. But I can tell you I don't appreciate it.

- jobeek2

July 28, 2009 at 6:29pm

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jobeek2,

sorry to hear that you suffer from the unsolicited advice from friends(?), relatives(?) and/or strangers(?)  We've all been there!  But I assure you it is NOTHING like the incessant barrage from the media that tells heavy people that they are substandard, and that everyone should feel free to enjoy to laughing at all of them.

- kerFuFFler

July 29, 2009 at 9:43am

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It's Rubensesque, not Rubenesque.

- jabuck

July 29, 2009 at 11:55am

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jabuck,

sorry, it's rubenesque, not Rubensesque, only one 's', and no capital 'R'.

- kerFuFFler

July 29, 2009 at 1:22pm

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