Naked Sleep Walkers Beware

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THE PLANK OCTOBER 26, 2009

Naked Sleep Walkers Beware

Did you know that wandering around your own home in the buff can get you tossed in jail?

This is one of those issues I never gave a moment's thought until I ran across today's WaPo piece about a guy in Fairfax, VA who was recently jolted from a nap on his sofa by a bunch of cops waving a taser in his face and calling him a perv. Seems a neighbor had reported the guy for exposing himself to her and her young son as they were walking past his house that morning. The guy in question insists he was just wandering around the house sipping a cup of coffee and didn't realize anyone had seen him until the police hauled him away in handcuffs.

In cases of alleged indecent exposure, it's all about the intent. My strolling naked to the freezer for some Edy's Butter Pecan and getting spotted by a passing neighbor is OK. My strolling naked to the freezer in the hopes of getting spotted by a passing neighbor is not OK. See the potential for trouble?

I realize there are a lot of sick puppies out there who get a thrill out of waving their tackle at unsuspecting strangers, and laws must be in place to deal with this brand of derangement. But I also think the hurdle for arresting someone for being naked within the confines of his home--whether sipping coffee, snarfing ice cream, or graphically shaking their money maker to Shakira--needs to be pretty freaking high.

So I'm seriously hoping there's much more to what this Fairfax shmoe did than is being reported.

Otherwise, I need to buy some heavy blinds for my front windows asap.

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