THE PLANK DECEMBER 23, 2007
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...goes to the Concord Monitor. After applauding Mitt Romney for his "athletic build, ramrod posture, Reaganesque hair, a charismatic speaking style and a crisp dark suit," the paper's editorial board comes to this damning conclusion:
When New Hampshire partisans are asked to defend the state's
first-in-the-nation primary, we talk about our ability to see the
candidates up close, ask tough questions and see through the baloney.
If a candidate is a phony, we assure ourselves and the rest of the
world, we'll know it.Mitt Romney is such a candidate. New Hampshire Republicans and independents must vote no.
The paper's attempt to explain New Hampshire's role as being that of saving the Republic from dangerous candidates is a bit overwrought (if this hype were true, the Granite State would not have given Pat Buchanan the 1996 primary victory). But surely the reputation of New Hampshire Republicans and Independents rests very much on their ability to "see through the baloney" that is Willard Mitt Romney.
--James Kirchick
3 comments
Mitt's Medical Issues to Blame
From the Journal of the American College of Neurosurgeons blog:
"We understand that Mitt's "misstatements" may all be a result of a medical operation Governor Romney had about a year and half ago. To get rid of the gnawing inside, he went into Mayo Clinc for a ethiclotomy. That's the procedure, very popular with a certain class of businessman, where they make a micro incision into the brain and vacuum out the little organ where the conscience and courage reside. But as is all too typical with this class of patients, the surgeons couldn't find the damn thing. I've heard through the medical grapevine that they didn't want to lose their fees--they're businesspeople after all!--so they just sucked something else out. Some suspect it was his heart." Neurosurgeon in Dallas
"The theory in our Neurosurgery Department is that the damage occured while the whole family was going through their annual "Stepford" renewal treatment last spring. As most of you who work at teaching hospitals know, this is the treatment that ensures perfect children and spouses, a fat wallet, great teeth, and a very WASPy attitude. We've heard that during one of the procedures, the last tiny vestige of Mitt's soul may have been removed by mistake. Mitt's soul had atrophied to the point that the technicians thought it was just a large pimple on his buttocks. When the doctors were out of the room, one of the custodians, probably an illegal immigrant, apparently popped it. So there you have it!" Cedars of Lebanon Hospital, Detroit
Jesus is Our Savior! No New Taxes! Protect Our Borders! Go Mitt!!!!!
- sabatia
December 24, 2007 at 7:57am
sabatia: Brilliant!
- JackR
December 24, 2007 at 10:44am
Thank you! And on behalf of the Romney Campaign: Merry Christmas!
- sabatia
December 24, 2007 at 10:56am