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Go Home Today’s Modo Column, By The Numbers

THE PLANK AUGUST 12, 2009

Today’s Modo Column, By The Numbers

The Gist: All big political disputes of the day--from the Congo to a town hall in Lebanon, PA--hinge on the naivety of Obama.Unnecessary pop-culture references: 5 (one about Sheryl Crow handing out toilet paper in Obama’s Cold War state; two references to the laws of Fight Club; one to Hillary’s hand gestures recalling “The Sopranos”; one about Bill’s dinner at MGM Grand with Hollywood moguls)

Achingly awful alliteration: 2 (“KO in the Congo;” “postpartisan, postracial, post-Clinton-dysfunction”)Worst pop-psychology analysis: “This raw, competitive response showed that the experiment in using the Clintons as a tandem team on diplomacy may not be going as smoothly as we had hoped; once more, as with health care, the conjugal psychodrama drags down the positive contribution the couple can make on policy.”Was it really “conjugal psychodrama” that killed health care reform in the 1990s? Really?Most forced analogy: “Another rule of ‘Fight Club,’ as Brad Pitt explained, is: When someone yells ‘stop’ or goes limp, the fight is over. Unfortunately for Arlen Specter and Claire McCaskill, that rule didn’t apply at their donnybrooks on health care on Tuesday. The senators were punching bags for audience members irate about everything from the trillions in debt and illegal immigrants to term limits and toilet paper.”Since neither Specter nor McCaskill were able to say it, I will: Uncle, Ms. Dowd. Uncle!--Marin Cogan

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5 comments

The first rule of Maureen Dowd is: you don't talk about Maureen Dowd.  The second rule of Maureen Dowd is: you do not talk about Maureen Dowd.

- ratnerstar

August 12, 2009 at 6:28pm

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...The first rule of Maureen Dowd is..

Give her a very wide Pasadena.

- basman

August 12, 2009 at 8:09pm

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Hey, why don't you and Maureen organize a "fight club" right here in TNR? I'll be happy to referee the match by compiling the non sequiturs from both sides.

On the other hand, how do we know you are not in fact Maureen Dowd herself?

After all, the first rule in Fight Club [established right from the start...if behind the curtain] is that it be set up by someone afflicted with dissociative identity disorder. The Sybil Dorsett aka Shirley Ardell Mason syndrome.

On the other hand, being one of Maureen's personalities myself, I don't remember her ever mentioning you.

gw

- iambiguous

August 13, 2009 at 5:01am

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Now 85 days without plagiarism

- jhildner

August 13, 2009 at 12:22pm

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Nice little public service gig you got going here.  You need a slogan: "I read Maureen Dowd so you don't have to!"

- cspencef

August 13, 2009 at 2:45pm

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