THE PLANK NOVEMBER 5, 2009
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For anyone who fears he or she may hold Hollywood studio executives in insufficiently low esteem, the Wall Street Journal offers this trend story:
Soon to be starring in his own feature-length film with Universal Pictures: Stretch Armstrong, the pliant, muscle-bound doll whose roots go back to the 1970s. Big Wheel, the plastic tricycle, has its own TV show in the works. Even the board game Risk has a deal for a film, to be co-produced by star Will Smith....
John Fogelman represents the likes of Courteney Cox, Whoopi Goldberg and director J.J. Abrams for talent agency William Morris Endeavor Entertainment LLC. But lately, his hottest stars have been toys such as G.I. Joe and Candy Land from his client Hasbro Inc....
The craze for toy-driven feature films has given rise to a new term in the Hollywood lexicon. In production meetings, studio executives have begun asking if a particular project is "toyetic" -- meaning whether its concept can lend itself to a toy, and whether the project will be able to sell tickets and merchandise....
The fervor has allowed even the most uncinematic of playthings to get a shot at the silver screen. The Ohio Art Co., which owns Etch A Sketch, says it has received numerous calls from producers interested in acquiring the rights to make a stand-alone film based on the toy.
Battleship, Asteroids, Monopoly, Micronauts, and Barbie are among the other hot cinematic properties cited in the piece, though it fails to note that the screenwriters responsible for the abominable Transformers sequel are reportedly in talks to write a script about the Fisher Price View-Master.
I'd offer a punchline, but reality has usurped all the good ones.
4 comments
Seems like "toygenic" would be better than "toyetic", which sounds like a cute object you'd stick down a child's throat to make him barf.
- Geoff G
November 5, 2009 at 1:12pm
You're just now catching on to "toyetic?" The Kid's Cartoon Freakazoid was there with it a decade and a half ago: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xv5fAYwLYfc (Fast Forward to 8:54) Also, it seems children's television was much more intelligent and knowing back in the day. That show's still funny. And made fun of Newt Gingrich! Do you get any of that from Hannah Montana?
- Crock1701
November 5, 2009 at 1:28pm
Which proves something I've always suspected -- Hollywood executives are functionally illiterate. Or have the intelligence of 3 year olds. Or both.
- zardoz67
November 5, 2009 at 2:17pm
I don't know, there were some good ones on that old thread: dubyadoubte Chris, You beat me to the punch. When I started reading your post I thought that a movie based on the Slinky would be great. Giant metal coils cascading down the skyscrapers of Manhattan. There's still the Etch-a-Sketch. Course, as villains they'd be easy to defeat - just turn 'em over and shake 'em. adaglas This summer...Action has a new name! Adventure has a new face! And man has a new best friend..... PET ROCK! When a mad scientist launches a fiendish plot to seriously bum the world out with evil mood rings, Earth has only one hero with the STONES to take him out! Summer 2010....AMERICA. WILL. ROCK. (Dubyadoubte, in turn, beat me to the Etch-a-Sketch, which was the first thing I thought of) That was a fun thread. Ah summer.
- blackton
November 5, 2009 at 6:39pm