TIMOTHY NOAH APRIL 10, 2012
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With Rick Santorum now out of the race, and Newt Gingrich and Ron Paul no longer posing much of a threat to Mitt Romney, Romney's general-election campaign now begins. I don't think Romney will move very far to the center, because a.) He knows people already think his spine is made of rubber; and b.) He's fearful of inspiring a noisy revolt from the Republican base. For the same two reasons, I don't think Romney would move very far to the center as president, either. George W. Bush governed Texas as a moderate, campaigned in 2000 as a conservative, and then governed as a conservative. I believe Romney would follow the same pattern.
Even so, I could be wrong, and anyway, Romney's bound to make at least some feints toward the center. I therefore inaugurate the Etch-A-Sketch Watch. Readers are asked to alert this blog to any and all early signs of leftward shifts. Please e-mail links to timothynoah@tnr.com, and mark the subject line, "Etch Watch."
12 comments
Noah's more likely to get emails of Bigfoot sightings than Romney feints to the left, right, or in any direction. He's already perfectly located all over the place.
- rayward
April 10, 2012 at 5:27pm
Romney can now continue his lying mantra of "Obama's Failed Economy" despite 24 months of decreasing unemployment, and "We need to do more of what we did before", ignoring that "what we did before" led directly to the 2008 crash -- namely MORE tax-cutting and MORE deregulation. What is this guy, clinically stupid?
- AllanL5
April 10, 2012 at 5:44pm
He's a modern day Republican, isn't he? To be one, you either are stupid, or have to feign stupidity.
- zardoz67
April 10, 2012 at 5:54pm
My thinking on this matter just about exactly parallels yours, Timothy. I too could be wrong, but I also think that we won't get a chance to find out about the presidency part, because Mitt will likely lose this November. Perhaps an hysteriac who cannot resist shouting in caps shouldn't question the intelligence of a very smart - though extremely empty - candidate (you don't need a weatherman to know which way the Mitt blows).
- liberalref
April 10, 2012 at 6:19pm
Suggested modification: the etch-a-sketch watch should make sure that his leftward movements/feints contradict previously held positions, at least implicitly. If it's a new position he hasn't previously contradicted by words or actions, I'm not sure there's anything wrong with that.
- Curran1
April 10, 2012 at 6:32pm
I have this odd feeling that while Romney and the Ork, Rove, are fighting Gandolf the White Wizard, that there is a hobbit somewhere with his friend trying to throw a ring into a volcano.
- Nusholtz
April 10, 2012 at 6:38pm
Why not make this a drinking game and take a shot every time Romney refers to Ronald Reagan as the savior come again?
- propjoe
April 10, 2012 at 9:08pm
The real question is: will this have more success than Noah's predecessor's "Romney Death Watch"?
- dsimon
April 11, 2012 at 10:29am
As we look back fondly on the last year of the Republican carnival grindhouse lovingly called a 'primary' that, at last, has produced the perfect Republican candidate. The 21st century simulacrum of a 1950's-60's Republican. Because all things that are vintage are good for use and anything that reminds the aging white, baby boomer population of their idyllic childhoods: the 10cent loaves of bread, the 5cent gallons of gas, those neat toys and wholesome family values like a glass of whole milk means good times can be had again. Notice the vintage cultural references that are imbued in Willard Mitt Romney: The perfectly coiffed hair and TV created demeanor of that American family man stalwart - Ward Cleaver. Coincidence? Romney grew up watching Ward and thought.."that's just like my dad when he comes home! Clean shaven, pomaded hair, tie-bar, starched shirt, pressed trousers, wing-tips. I can't wait to be just like him." The non-stop references to his dear old father who actually had to work hard and put food on the table as a corporate executive in the 50s when Poppa Romney only made 45 times the average worker instead of today's greedy CEOs! Mitt is a man of the earth raised in humble times. The flexible, rubber-like constitution of his 'values' is similar to that post-WW2 child toy novelty Silly Putty. You can stretch it any-which-way, you can bounce it to the moon!, you can even press the Sunday Funnies on it, then roll it up and do it all over again. Finally, the etch-a-sketch. Bringing in that magical decade of the 1960s, it exudes all of the excitement of that new era of American marketing know-how, technology and limitless reinvention. Romney, the apple-cheeked 13 year old becomes enamored by it's two knobs turning first to the left, then the right, up and down, diagonally. Why it's amazing! You can write silly things, dirty things, draw seductive visions of laissez faire markets upon it's aluminum dust coated screen and then with a vigorous shake, start all over again sketching out vacuous fluff and bromides. Subconsciously Romney internalizes the limitless creative destruction and reinvention embodied by the etch-a-sketch that he literally becomes a humanized version. He parts his hair to the left, then the right, he likes to be liked such that he agrees with everyone and everything. He says one thing, then another and with a vigorous shake, he's a blank screen ready for fun and excitement! If there is anything we can learn from the process that created Willard Mitt Romney, it is that no matter how hard you try while making sausage, inevitably bits of gristle, globs of bile, endtrails and other unwanted scraps of santorum or gingrich will fall into the mix. What looks like a perfect link of American made bratwurst is nothing more than a cheaply made pink-slime knock off of what once tasty, wholesome and just darned American. As Poppa Romney used to say when he kicked the frayed tires of the rusting Rambler in the garage "they just don't make 'em like that anymore."
- singlspeed
April 11, 2012 at 10:35am
Libref, I did read your response to my criticism of your snark towards Allan and Roid, and am replying in this thread, since the other one got a little old. I didn't really expect that you would change your behavior, but I also didn't expect the vitriolic attack on me. Now, I don’t know any of you and have no reason to take sides. I have pointed out, rather politely, a couple of times over the last few months, that this is by far one of the most congenial and decent places for liberals/progressives/moderates to have a discussion, and suggested that your outbursts take away from that congeniality. I am not sure what’s happened in the distant past, but as long as I can remember, most of your attacks on Roid and Allan are unprovoked. Allan, to his credit, usually ignores you, and Roid, to his, gives back as good as he gets. It’s not that big a deal … I was hoping for a more productive outcome, but will live with the status quo.
- NR409654
April 11, 2012 at 2:48pm
NR, please keep in mind that people who post comments on forums such as this experience the same emotions and nervous system and hormonal reactions as if they were actually striking blows against a foe. Thus liberalref feels as if he is striking you with a cudgel and stomping you with a boot. Even in "real life" it is quite rare that physically beating someone converts them to your cause -- though once in a while it does. I look forward to the moment when NR4049654 begins to spout the LR party line.
- skahn
April 11, 2012 at 7:05pm
@ Skahn :-)
- NR409654
April 12, 2012 at 12:07pm