TIMOTHY NOAH OCTOBER 28, 2011
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The Defense department is no stranger to euphemism, starting with its name (which used to be "War department"). If the Pentagon truly confined itself to providing defense then presumably we wouldn't need a whole separate government agency to provide "Homeland Security." The best-publicized recent creepy example of DoD euphemism is the term "kinetic warfare," which manages to make the killing of other human beings sound like performance art. It first gained traction during the presidency of George W. Bush and went viral in the Obama era.
But God bless drone warfare. I guess because it's still so new, the DoD functionaries who get to name drones haven't yet forgotten how to call a spade a spade. There was little reason to doubt what a "Predator" drone intended to do. But I guess that just wasn't blunt enough. So when time came in 2006 to name its successor, "Reaper" carried the day. (Its builder, General Atomics Aeronautical, more demurely prefers to call it the Predator B.) I'm pretty sure "Reaper" is not intended as a tribute to the great American inventor Cyrus McCormick. When the Reaper reaches the end of its useful life will DoD call its successor the Assassin? The Yippee-Ki-Yay Motherfucker? Maybe euphemism isn't such a bad way to go after all.
12 comments
Not bad. How about "Terminator". Or "Anal Rapist"?
- Robert Powell
October 28, 2011 at 3:03pm
I think we should call it "Harmless". Because if there's one thing terrorists love, it's irony.
- Tristan
October 28, 2011 at 3:07pm
The Reaper is different from a Predator in that the Reaper eventually reaps everyone.
- ironyroad
October 28, 2011 at 3:24pm
@Tristan: I agree. Then when an upgrade is deployed, it can be called "Mostly Harmless."
- Dausuul
October 28, 2011 at 3:39pm
I like the Harmless version. Would that be the 'recon' version? 'Hold Harmless' would be the one with machine guns perhaps. But my personal vote would be to call it simply "Major Kong" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcW_Ygs6hm0 It could employ some sort of screechy siren like wail "yeeeeeeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaawwww"
- singlspeed
October 28, 2011 at 3:47pm
"Static warfare" would be a contradiction in terms. though, wouldn't it?
- liberalref
October 28, 2011 at 3:59pm
Such frivolity; it reminds me of making a silly deck of cards for capturing Iraqi leaders while you are spraying blood everywhere.
- Nusholtz
October 28, 2011 at 5:57pm
please, remember that the plane that dropped the A bomb was called the Enola Gay and the bomb itself was called Little boy (or fat man, can't remember which)
- blackton
October 28, 2011 at 6:27pm
Blackie: yeah bit that was only after they ruled out "Fat Gay"
- Tristan
October 28, 2011 at 6:33pm
Damn Vincent, you just made me spew my Sam Adams Octoberfest. But yeah, I love the Reaper name. And by the way, can we set the Reaper on these damn Shell pop-ups? I'm getting sick of that kid in Shanghai doing his laundry.
- dubyadoubte
October 28, 2011 at 8:47pm
Second Peter's suggestion. Sooo sick of the pop up ads, TNR staff. No mas!
- Tristan
October 29, 2011 at 6:13am
FWIW, I'm not getting the pop-ups anymore. I hated them too, but they simply don't show up any more on my screen. Maybe the same thing that stops streaming video from the States on a number of sites? It's all voodoo to me.....
- Robert Powell
October 29, 2011 at 1:32pm