Fernando Torres

The Gang is Back
June 08, 2012

And we’re off. The gang is back to spill our wisdom and halitosis upon unsuspecting readers. Why, you may ask, why are we back? It’s been only two years, after all: Have things changed much since our last tournament? Let’s see. Spain is still the best team, in my opinion, but some teams are catching up. Mesut Ozil has matured quite a bit in these two years. Ronaldo’s hair is even more remarkable. Xavi may or may not have lost a step—and his hair is less remarkable. Fernando Torres is still redefining the word enigma. Robin van Persie is peaking.

In Praise Of Whom?

July 03, 2010

I apologize in advance to all Manchester United fans, including, but not limited to, my brother, his son, Alex Ferguson, and the majority of the 79,005 people on the last day of July, 2003, who traipsed to the hateful Giants Stadium in Rutherford, New Jersey, to watch the Reds play Juventus in a pre-season friendly. I apologize because I’m about to state that the best player in this South African World Cup—and the best player by far—is none other than Diego Forlan. My hand doth shake to even type such a claim; I should probably drink deeply of some kind of poison, and thank god that’s not a da

The Counter-Insurgency Spain Must Wage
June 30, 2010

How will Spain manage to crack Paraguay? They have struggled against teams that have packed players into the final third and dared them to elegantly kick the ball about the midfield, with Spain looking so refined and yet so lacking in goals. Paraguay are, of course, the supreme example of this genre in the tournament. (I’m very moved by Sasha’s paeans to their lyrical dullness.) Spain should be able to pick that lock. But the lameness of Fernando Torres has been a major liability. Without him running rampant, teams have horded resources and used them to swarm Xavi.

Best of the Web, AM Edition
June 07, 2010

Goal Post's very own Zachary Roth on soccer lit. Four-Four-Two: World Cup 1, Decades of diplomacy 0. All-time scariest groups of death. Why there is no such a things as a group of death, at least not one with Brazil.  The greatness of Lucio. Vuvuzelas: A cultural history. The inevitable German anthem controversy. A contrarion take on Maradona. Why Fernando Torres’ injury is good for Spain! Where is World Cup winning coach Big Phil Scolari now? Fleeing Uzbek soccer. The Danes are tricky. English journalists, beware of baboons.