The New Republic

One thing I have never understood - and would certainly welcome any light others can shed.

So this Hagee F***head and other Evangelists believe that the Bible is the literal word of God, that six days means six 24-hour days and that the Earth was created on 23 October 4004 BC, at 9 am (EST), that Leviticus should be read literally so that gays can be flung off rock-cliffs and uncles can marries nieces and so on.

How is it, then, that when it comes to Revelations, suddenly everything is symbolic, that the "Beast" takes the shape of the European Union (which, incidentally, does not have legal personality - or, some would say, any personality) - which is itself the creature not of John or the Pentateuch, but of the Treaty of Maastricht in 1992 AD?  I mean, I'm sure John was quite perceptive and all, but did he really mean European Union, post 1992, instead of European Communities pre-1992?  Did he mean European Union after the Constitution (which failed) or before (hence the lack of personality)?  Is this before or after Serbia and Croatia join - I mean, this is important for the poor people of those countries, no?  Someone ought to tell them: "do not joint the Beast!"  Or, alternatively, the good people of Luxembourg have to be informed that "if Serbia joins, the EU will become the Beast", in which case Luxembourg, or Malta, or Cyprus - all hotbeds of evil and sin, I guess - could simply veto the accession of Serbia or Croatia or Moldava to the EU and avoid the Beast from being completed, so to speak.

Here is another conundrum: the EU has "association agreements" with nearly half the world.  If the EU is The Beast - and we have to assume it is, for John could not have been mistaken - what happens to all the countries that are Associated with the Beast?  

A confused Biblical scholar

- icarusr

May 15, 2008 at 10:43am

Icarusr: I think perhaps I can help you here. John Hagee and his like are not exactly hermenutical titans on par with, say, my favorite New Testament scholar Bart Ehrman. Biblical "literalists" have long been content to read scripture metaphorically if they need to explain something away or look the other way or give voice to their nutty apopcalyptic fantasies. So when the J writer spits fire and brimstone, Hagee listens up and simply parrots the transliterated Hebrew but when John of Patmos channels his psychotic visions, Hagee hyperinterprets the text and uncoils the putative geopolitical landscape deftly hidden in a tale penned two millenia ago. Others call it hypocrisy or contradiction or self - unknowingness but to me, it is simply differing interpretive styles juxtaposed inside the same cranium.

- liberal reformer

May 15, 2008 at 11:14am

I do believe you all are over thinking Mr. Hagee.  He's really very easily understood - just like the Clinton's, he's all about himself.  He just cloaks himself in a different set of robes than they do.  I'm certain he has a very nice lifestyle all from spouting things that get 'believers' all worked up and giving him money as quick as they can.  And I'll bet his cranium isn't large enough to support two juxtaposed differing interpretive styles - the bone is too thick.

- WaltB

May 15, 2008 at 2:37pm

"And I'll bet his cranium isn't large enough to support two juxtaposed differing interpretive styles - the bone is too thick."

ROFL. Well put!

"differing interpretive styles juxtaposed inside the same cranium"

Given WaltB's theory, I would have to say that Hagee is using the tried and true style of "whatever works for me no matter how obviously false or inconsistent"; originally mastered by the Catholics in the 11th century.

- GSpinks

May 15, 2008 at 3:22pm

Mr. Chiat is missing a critical point of his Pastor Hagee criticism.

According to the biblie, as Israel is heading into Armeggedon, it is partly their fault and they are offered salvation as soon as the battle is over.

End times begins when the 3rd Temple is built by the Jews.  I believe this was written prior to the building of Temple Mount.  So supposedly their is some culpability on the part of the Jews.

And as Jesus reappears and saves the world, that is ending, he offers salvation to all, oncluding the Jews.

So Pastor Hagee could be accused of offering too much aid to Israel.

Compared to Islamic apocalyptic tales, they believe Arabs will fight Arabs and the 12th Imam will return to save them.  Not necessarily in Jerusleum or Israel.

But the point here is, Pastor Hagee believes the Destruction of Israel will be the first step towards paradise for all.  The Islamic Terrorists believe the Destruction of Israel will be business as usual.

- CRS9TNR

May 15, 2008 at 8:56pm