Luke Dempsey

If Hamlet Gave Argentina’s Pre-World Cup Final Speech
Alejandro Sabella channels the Prince of Denmark
July 12, 2014

Alejandro Sabella channels the Prince of Denmark

Paradise Lost, 7-1: If Milton Did Post-Match Analysis for Germany-Brazil
To be read in the voice of Ian Darke.
July 08, 2014

To be read in the voice of Ian Darke.

What I've Done to Myself By Watching Every Second of This World Cup
Chaucer had his barrels, I have my barn
July 02, 2014

In Chaucer's "The Miller's Tale," they were barrels. Me, I have my barn. 

Ketchup vs. Mayonnaise, and 9 Other Reasons Belgium Doesn't Have a Chance Against the U.S.
The fabulist patriot's guide to the most important sporting event in American history
June 30, 2014

The fabulist patriot's guide to the most important sporting event in American history 

"As You Bite It": Uruguay-Italy through Shakespeare
For never was a story of more woe...
June 25, 2014

This hilarious take turns the Suarez World Cup bite into "I do bite my thumb at you. Sir!"

England's Loss to Uruguay, as Epic Poem
The doggerel of defeat
June 19, 2014

Sad supporter pens doggeral of defeat 

Watching the Three Lions Get Mauled at an Italian Restaurant in New Jersey
An England-Italy recap, with pizza
June 15, 2014

I was hoping for a little sympathy. This is what happened instead.

My Cancer, My Friend's Cancer, and a Stadium's Worth of Meat
Toasting the World Cup (and Much More) at a Brazilian Steakhouse
June 14, 2014

Toasting the World Cup (and Much More) at a Brazilian Steakhouse

21 Things That Must Happen During This World Cup
June 10, 2014

 A must (must, must!) read post for every England fan. 

Five Things We’ve Learned from Euro 2012
June 30, 2012

1) Pirlo is semi-divine. He made England look, well, stupid, but that’s not saying much. His real performance for the ages was against a much better Germany side four days later. There was a moment in the first half of the semi-final where you thought he was going to get found out, though. Under pressure in the German half, ball at his feet, for a moment he looked old, frail even. A younger, fitter Özil harried him, and in turning away from the obscenely one-footed Real Madrid star, Pirlo stumbled, putting his right arm down to the turf to steady himself as he fell.

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