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Survivor: Gop Edition

Dick Cheney's Sunday morning bitch slap of Colin Powell clinched it: The GOP is fast degenerating into a trashy, smack-talking, back-stabbing reality spectacle ala "Real Housewives." 

So I'm thinking it's time to hammer out some details and make a pitch to the networks. Luckily, one of my colleagues is hitched to someone who runs her own development company. So we've got a leg up!

But finding a winning formula can be tricky. Off the top of my head, I see a couple of obvious ways to go:

1. In the interest of building empathy and appreciation between the warring factions, we pair up prominent representatives of the GOP's good ol' boy, outdoorsy branch with reps from its country-club branch and have them jump back and forth between each others milieus. For instance, Mitt Romney could visit Sarah Palin up in Alaska for a tutorial on how to skin his own dinner and interact with working-class Americans who aren't mowing his lawn. Palin, in turn, could spend a couple of weeks in Massachusetts with Mitt, boning up on the Bush Doctrine, past Supreme Court decisions, and just generally discovering the wonders of newspapers and magazines. Everybody grows!

2. Alternatively, we say screw reconciliation and growing the tent: Toss Mitt, Palin, Michael Steele, Rush, Cranky Uncle Dick, Bobby Jindall, Eric Cantor, and, oh, maybe Mike Huckabee in a double-wide and park 'em out in the middle of the Okefenokee Swamp with a Bowie knife, a Remington over/under, and a box of matches. Last contestant left standing wins the soul of the party.

Other suggestions welcome. And, of course, we'll need a catchy title. 

--Michelle Cottle