THE PLANK AUGUST 7, 2007
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There's some terrific news about Republican silliness today. First, regarding the recent radio interview in which Mitt Romney was grilled over his Mormonism and views on abortion, Mark Hemingway in (surprisingly) National Review Online has a piece on the nuttiness of one of the obscure figures Romney and the host bonded over: W. Cleon Skousen, "by turns an FBI employee, the police chief of Salt Lake City, a Brigham Young University professor, consigliere to former secretary of agriculture and Mormon president Ezra Taft Benson and, well, all-around nutjob." The article is worth reading in full.
Also, remember Bob Allen, the Florida McCain campaign co-chair and state rep arrested for solicitation a few weeks ago (there was some confusion about who was paying whom to do what)? Anyways, turns out:
Fear of the "pretty stocky black guy" who turned out to be an undercover cop made Florida state representative Bob Allen perform the actions that led to a charge of solicitation to commit prostitution...
Obviously! Because whenever "straight" men are intimidated by big black guys, the first thing they do is offer money to blow them.
Then there's this part which should land Allen in jail for even longer than he normally would be sentenced:
When Allen was loaded into the patrol car, the statement said, he asked if "it would help" that he was a state legislator.
"No," the officer said.
I don't support the law(s) that Allen ran afoul of in the first place, and if it wasn't for the following, this story ought not be of any importance whatsoever:
Soon after taking office in 2001, Allen was one of 21 Florida legislators to sign Gov. Jeb Bush's friend-of-the-court brief supporting the state's ban on gays adopting children.
In March he cosponsored an unsuccessful bill that would have enhanced penalties for "offenses involving unnatural and lascivious acts," such as indecent exposure.
And that's the way it is.
--James Kirchick
16 comments
Last time, on a Friday which probably helped, this story created a perfect storm of inspired idiocy. Will it relaunch? If so, may I suggest beginning with the "will it help if I'm a state legislator?" That seems as good a straight line (oh no,now I'm doing it) as one could ask.
- AlanK
August 7, 2007 at 11:52am
I can tell you all that the "Will it help if I'm a state legislator" works as well with the ladies as it does with the cops.
- adaglas
August 7, 2007 at 12:02pm
and I mean policy positions. He clearly was in favor of anti-gay legislation to protect the public against himself. Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that classic self-hating gay behavior?
- stgla
August 7, 2007 at 12:07pm
I agree with you about the law, but if the silly law is going to be enforced, it couldn't happen to a more deserving guy.
- miceelf
August 7, 2007 at 12:07pm
That's the line I was going to use. Nice post, Jamie.
- boneill
August 7, 2007 at 12:17pm
juuuuuust maybe, Allen wouldn't have felt so intimidated by those big black guys if he had spent less time checking out their units.
- drdannyu
August 7, 2007 at 12:21pm
Oh, those big scary Negroes. And there were so many of them!! I had to offer to blow one. After all, that's standard self-defense as taught in the Kwanjangnim George Michael School of Taekwondo. Thanks Jamie K. Good link (and now I have the Advocate.com with all the hunky men on my internet history).
- dubyadoubte
August 7, 2007 at 12:22pm
The last time I was facing big scary black guys, I offered to blow them. I was never allowed to sit at courtside again...
- boneill
August 7, 2007 at 12:39pm
I think you misunderstood the gist of Ben Wallace bobblehead night.
- adaglas
August 7, 2007 at 12:44pm
I guess when you played football you started out as a tight end and finished up as a wide reciever.
- blackton
August 7, 2007 at 12:55pm
Exceptionally well-played.
- boneill
August 7, 2007 at 1:00pm
I'd like to know what Allen meant by "pretty stocky black guy." He either meant "a black guy who's pretty stocky," or he meant "a stocky black guy who's pretty." Puntuate, people! (Do I have to bring up "Eats, Shoots and Leaves"?) Because if the cop is pretty-well, that changes everything.
- robbieforsl
August 7, 2007 at 2:02pm
I'd like to know what Allen meant by "pretty stocky black guy." He either meant "a black guy who's pretty stocky," or he meant "a stocky black guy who's pretty." Punctuate, people! (Do I have to bring up "Eats, Shoots and Leaves"?) Because if the cop is pretty-well, that changes everything.
- robbieforsl
August 7, 2007 at 2:03pm
How perfect an intersection of racism and homophobia embodied by this gross, hypocritical GOP slug! And to think they've driven national and international policy based on these kinds of fears and repression. God only help us if they start acting out based on their fear-fantasies about Senator Barack Obama....
- jrk3150
August 8, 2007 at 11:00am
If this is how the right-wing nuts act out their racism, I see a lot of campaign donations going Obama's way!!!
- miceelf
August 8, 2007 at 2:01pm
I read the NR piece by Hemingway, found this bit odd: "[I]f one were to dismiss every major Democratic contender based on the fact that they were once close to or, heck, currently have on staff a former Sixties radical - be it a Black Panther, member of the Weather Underground, or Cleon Skousen-approved Commie - the DNC would have to recruit candidates in Never Never Land." Anybody here know of any WU, Panther or CPUSA moles in the HRC, Obama or Edwards campaigns, or even--"heck"--in their pasts? (Or even--heck--in *any* Dem. contender's?)
- nancyirving
August 9, 2007 at 3:36am